Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Good friends are tough to find...

A TRUE friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face!!

i saw this quote and it got me to relize how close i have gotten with jessie. i dont have too many close close friends that i can talk to about anything and everything. but when janae left i thought great i dont have anyone i can be supper close to and be comfertable with them and their familys. but when i read this quote i realized that i see one of the reasons why god sent janae off. i know its not the only reason but its one of them....

before janae left i was always with her. i dident really pay much attention to jessie. and theres more to it then i just dident pay attention to her. but in a way i am glade janae left so i could get closer to jess. she is now my go to girl when i am in a crappy mood, because she is right there!

i am SO close to jessie now that when i am trying to hide my bad days with a smile she sees right through me. and at times i think man i wish she couldent because then she makes me talk to her but when i am done talking to her i relize that i feel a little better and i am glade she sees through my fake smile and makes me talk to her. i am also so so SO happy for her family. they are great to me! and i love them like i love my own! her dad helps me out with school work and her mom is just SO nice and sweet and i love her. jessie's sisters and really nice to me too. jamie treats me like i am her sister and its just fun. i love being over there.

At times we fight, but what friends dont fight? i think somtimes i feel like i am closer to her than my other friend cora. me and jessie have si much in common. i just love her to death! and i am glade that she is the kind of person who sees through me and knows when somthing is wrong with me. if it were thanksgiveing time i would say " i am thankfull for jessie!"

i know there is mor to janae leaving then me getting closer to jessie, but i feel like i finaly found one of the reasons..... and i am glade to say its a good reason!

Psalms 16:11
You will make known to me the path of life ; In Your presence is fullness of joy ; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever .

Monday, January 21, 2008

Good weekend?

it was a interesting weekend. my parents were out of town so it was just me in the house, and it was SO wired. i have never stayed in the house with just me before. i have always had my older brother home with me, or someone older. the first night i got like an hour of sleep. it wasent the best. So i thought well if i had someone with me i will be fine. that dident work out either. So the last night i was SO tired that i HAD to sleep. i fell asleep at like 8:00 in the morning. woke up every hour. but it was good....

i went to my cusions apt today. i went to best buy and she lives on my way home so i went over to her house on the way home. it was fun. she had just gotten Gitar Hero the night before so she was playing that! it was fun. then her boyfriend woke up and that was just supper funny! i had a lot of fun there! i always love hanging out with them. she is always so willing to hang out with me. which i found AMAZING!

Today i also went out to dinner with some girls from wyld life! it was fun. i love seeing them! i also got to see Amanda. she is an AMAZING girl. i love her SO much. we shared a dinner and just talked. it was fun! after we got dinner me and Amanda went to best sellers to get something to drink. its was an interesting time. i love hanging out with her. we sat in my dads car and talked for like 20 mins. and then we both relized we had to leave. it was a really fun day/night!

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
-1 John 3:18

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Changes in life

i have got to thinking alot about changes. and i am not the biggest fan of them. i guess some change is good. like fun change. but somtimes change isant good. let me tell you a story...

Once apon a time, there was a little girl, lets name her Gloria. she had a BEST friend. we will name her best friend Margret. they hung out ALL the time. once there was a time when they saw each other EVERY day for like a week. they never got sick of each other. Gloria and Margret would laugh and cry and cry b/c they were laughing SO hard. it was a perfect friendship. One day Margret asked Gloria over and told her that they were moving to Oklahoma, b/c her ddad got a job as a farmer and he would be making more money than he was now. Gloria was in Shock! she dident know what to say... but as time went on it hit her more and more. Gloria offered to help Margret pack and clean. for days at a time they would do this. through out this packing time Gloria got sader and sader. it was just along prosses. it was a sad time for Gloria...

i tell you this random story because it got me thinking that now change in my life is a huge thing. it might also be part of the fact that every sence she left it has seemed like everyone leaves. i guess you could say that i dont see where go is going this yet. and i hope to find out soon. its been kinda a while sence i got to see my best friend and its hard to just talk to her on the phone. i also have come to find that its hard for me to make big desisons in mylife. just because i dont want to make another dragitc (sp?) change in my life(unless its for the best.) i guess i just really want to know what gods plan is for all of this. somtimes it hard to not be able to see his plan. AND it drives me CRAZY!!

i just hope Gloria and Margret are happy now. i am sure they are.

THE ENDING...

Gloria and Margret talk to each other DAILY on the phone. if not like 2 LOOOONG conversations a bunch of little ones,. Margret likes it in oklahoma. she helps out on the farm. she had duck and chickens that she takes care of. Gloria has made another specil bond with... lets call her Lucy...Lucy. they spend a ton of time together. and its good for Gloria to have someone in Mason that she can go to like she would if Margret was there....

i hope you enjoyed my story. i thought it was a good one for this topic. Remeber even if you dont know it or cant see it yet. god has a plan, So dont get too frustrated trying to figure it out.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
-Psalm 119:105

Thursday, January 17, 2008

differant kinds of entrys

Its been a crazy time for me latly. Sence i have been back to school i have dont basicly nothing but get ready for exams. which ment LOTS of homework. nornamly exams them selfs are more stress full for me than the few weeks before, but this year my exams arent too bad but before exams was CRAZY. day after day i have TONS of homework and not much time for anything elses. it kinda made me sad. but as i take my exams i am glade i put so much work into the past few weeks just because now the exams them selfs arnt too bad.

i am more of a leader kind of person rather than a follower. i am the one people go to if they want to know somthing. i am the person who orginizes everything. Me and my friend cora were sitting in my living room on new years eve and we were trying to make resolutions. well cora said maybe this year we all could help you out rather than you just figuring out everything. i turned to her and said cora if we make that our resolution it wont last 3 days. and you better bet the mext day people were calling me about a bunch of differant things. So i think that when i am stressed out about somthing its not just one thing. its a bunch of things. and i think its also manly because somtimes/ all the time i take on took much. and when people ask me if they can do anything i either say no or give them a little bit to do because i dont think they will do it or they forget or somthing like that. i know thats bad but its just how i feel. Also this year i am working on not freeking out at people when they make me mad. i tend to just start snapping at them and i have found that it dosent help the matter any better. So thats what i have been working on. its manly just with my friends that i am working on it but i should probaly start trying with my family too.

Do you ever feel like you arnt home enough or you should be hanging out with your family but you try to get out of it? well thats been happening to me alot. i feel really bad about it but i dont know what else to do. somtimes i dont even relize i am doing it. i got a cute mesage from my mom the other day saying that she missed my older brother and she dident want to miss me. it was one of the sweetest mesages i have ever gotten. but when i got it i was on my way to the mall with my friend and not home, so i felt gilty about not being home. and alot of the time i am at my friend jesses house more than my own house, and i know my family misses me, but somtimes its easyer for me to be there because all we seem to do latly is fight. i guess i am trying to be home more but its hard. sence will has left they feel like they never see me and i know i am going to collage in a year and they know that too. which makes them think there isant much more time left with me. So i am working on that also. i have alot of goals for me this year.

My last goal of this entry is..... To see Phillis in real life! not many people will know what i am saying but the ones who do i hope it makes you laugh!! its a goal i HAVE to acheve before schools out!

Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. 1 Thessalonians 5:15

Friday, January 4, 2008

HAPPY 2008?

its a new year already! all i have been hearing latly is "i just cant beleave its 2008!" its crazy. i remeber the year 2000 came, i was in 3rd grade and my teacher told the hole class that thw rold was going to end so go out and buy a bunch of caned goods. i went home freeked out thinking that the world was ending. it was a tragic time for me! but its just crazy for me to hear people always say, "WOW, i cant be leave it ___ already", Also people talking about there new years resolutions. my HOLE life i have only EVER seen 2 people keep theres for the hole year. its wired how people make resolitions but dont keep them. i say if your not going to keep it then dotn make it. i dont know it dosent normaly bother me but this year it has for some reason. maybe its because this year a going to be sort of a crazy year for me. exams,wyld life,young life, polo, piano, and a job?. i have to jugle everything this semester (ok so i guess its this semester more so than year) that my brain may blow up. i am not the best at jugleing more than like 2 things at the most. its just gets a little kayotic. i guess i should just sit don relax and know that god wont give me more that i can chew. its just a lot for me to take on right now. and i guess it looks like more on paper than it really will. we can only hope! its just all so overwellming. i am hoping for a good year, another thing everyone says, but i really am.

hope everyone will have a great 2008. or at least try. make the best otu of your life. you never know what can happen!