Proverbs 3:5-6

Run.

2011-03-16T06:38:00.000-07:00

Running far far away, and not looking back... Thats what needs to happen.

Lately the feeling of run is all that occurs. Over spring break i went to Indiana on a road trip. we literally just drove the back roads of Indiana. Yes, we did get lost... more than once. This random Indiana trip has to do with my feeling of wanting to run.

Running away, wouldn't life be easier if i did that? No school to worry about, no body but myself to worry about, no work to go to. Yup sounds like a good life to me. Actually it is a really stupid idea. Which is why i have yet to do it.

The feeling to run is common in many people. the difference between me and them is i fight the urge to run and work thing out. I may run for a night, or day or two (meaning road trip) but its just to clear my head and give myself a break, i always have the intention of coming back.

Who doesn't have the feeling to run every once in a while.

Different Lives.

2011-03-14T09:02:00.000-07:00

Today i realized how different my family life is compared to others. I didnt so much just realize this but it deff opened my eyes.

I was at my favorite place in mason and talking to some people this morning. The girl i was talking to was telling me how much she hates her family and just wants to move out of that house. She was also telling me how she is in a big fight with her mom right now, and how her mom is just supper mean (verbally) to her. then she proceeded to tell me how she just wants to straight up tell them all how she feels about them so she will get kicked out of the house and then she can move in with someone else and not feel bad about it.

After she told me this i piped in and explained how its weird for me to hear all this. I continued on to tell her how when i recently got into a fight with my mom i straight up said "if you continue to yell at me for stupid things right now i get home, i'm not going to want to come home anymore" and then i left the house for a few hours until they went to bed. Well about an hour after i had left i got a text from my mom saying "you know we love you and always will love you, dont you?"

I told my friend that story and she told me how their fights end with this is why i'm mad. No i'm sorry, or i love you. just more yelling, and arguing.

I never doubt i have a good family life. it just always opens my eyes more when i hear a story like that.

I'm a lucky girl. I grew up in a great home. And i am thankful for that.

Different lives, of different people.

What a Bust

2011-03-05T19:47:00.000-08:00

I used to look forward to the day, i would count down the days.. 3,2,1... I'M FREEEEEE!!!! No school for a week, because of spring break! lounge around, hang with friends, some years maybe even going on vacation.

This year i wont lie, i didn't look forward to it at all. Working all break, and doing school work... not the exact ideal spring break i had in mind. Have nothing planed for this spring break. school, and work. sounds fun huh?

Just decided that as you get older, the things you used to look forward to start to fad away.

Spring Break Bust.

(Where i want to be)

Birthday Time.

2011-02-27T05:59:00.000-08:00

Lets start off with saying yesterday was my 20th birthday.

Now im not going to lie, i wasnt really looking forward to my birthday because non of my friends could really celebrate it with me. I actually would continue to forget it was coming until someone reminded me. I also had to work on my birthday and it wasnt bad, but i would have wanted to do somthing else.

but anyways. I get home from work and and both mom and dads side of the family grandparents are there to have my birthday dinner with me. We eat dinner, and then we get to the cake!!! For weeks now i have been requesting a coffee flavored cake (chocolate esprsso cake to be exact) well my dad found a recipe for a chocolate cake with coffee in it!! ANNNND THENNNN my mom bought me coffee ice cream!! It was SO good!!!

We then get to presents my moms parents got me a git card, and my dads parents gave me money.

I then have a present from my parents. Leta flash back a little...

FLASH BACKK: at Christmas my mom and dad got me a northface fleece and i was told i was not getting anything for my birthday because it cost a lot. I was totally ok with that because I love my fleece!!

FLASH FORWARD: i open this tiny present. and when i opend it there was a sock in it... i was like oh goodness there trying to be funny. but then i see that there is somthing inside the sock... it was a set of keys. At first i thought they had put my keys in the sock, nope. it was a diffrent set of keys to a diffrent car.

Aparently sence Aug. my parents have been planing on giving me his car. This car is my dads parents old car. They have been waiting for my car to die and give me this new one, but gave it to me early.

I am now a proud owner of a 2004 oldsmobile alero. Its silver =]

BEST BIRTHDAY IN A LONG TIME!!!

I have the best parents ever!!!

(not my car but looks like it)

Stuck in the snow

2011-02-21T09:29:00.001-08:00

The title says it all. I'm here in south lyon house sitting for my aunt. South lyon is about an hour away from lansing.

MY whole goal this morning was to get up early let the dog out, feed him, and play with him, then proceed to class. Well I did all that and then it took a turn for the worse. i was backing out of the drive way, got almost all the way down when BAMMM! My car wasnt moving anymore, and i was stuck. I then tryed to still get out and i think i just made it worse.

I sit here in the nice warm house after an hour of trying to unstuck my car.. it may be a lost cause for now...

Stuck in the snow.. No where to go.

(not my car... and not anywhere as bad)

Craving some Baldwin

2011-02-12T20:47:00.000-08:00

Baldwin. The place of no return.

Baldwin is a teeny tinny town in Michigan, about 30 mins away from Ludington. My grandparents have a little cottage house up there and allow me and my friends to go up there every once in a while. Baldwin also has the most amazing ice cream parlor called Jones's! Mmm Great ice cream awaits me.

I love going up there. It is the most peaceful place ever. In the summer, and winter.

I tend to go up there (mostly) in the summer with my friends by ourselves. We're crazy no matter where we are, but it seems to be when we are in Baldwin we are even more so crazy. It is never a dull moment when were up there.

The cabin is in the middle of no where. There is barley any service for cell phones, no internet, and sometimes no cable. It basically cuts you off from society, which is great once in a while. Getting reading done, or just some random thinking is always great! I love it there and i cannot wait for it to be a little warmer out to go again. (the last time we went in the winter, it was too much of an adventure so i'm going to still to warm weather time). An adventure up there is calling my name.

Craving a trip to Baldwin And of course some Jones's Ice Cream!

Piano Love

2011-02-11T19:16:00.000-08:00

When asked the question "what is your favorite instrument?" My answer: "The Piano"

I have loved the piano my whole life. When i was younger i would beg and beg my parents to get my piano lessons, but they were always way too expensive. So i never learned as a child. However, I got tought a few things from my grandma. So i knew a little.

It wasnt until i was a Junior in High School when i finally got the honor of piano lessons. But when your older you dont have a much time to sit down and practice. So i sadly had to quit.

Today I was babysitting this GREAT Family. One of the kids has been taking piano lessons for a little while no and is becoming really good. I just sat and listened to him play. It was beautiful. It bought the biggest smile to my face.

Listening to someone play the piano is just so cool and peaceful. i am always in awe to watch anyone play. I give them MAJOR props for being able to. It isnt the easiest thing to play. and take a lot of patients to be able to stick with it. While listening to someone play i get lost in the moment. it is great. Oh might i add that the kid i was listening to play the piano is only in 4th grade. hes already amazing at it!!

I get lost when i listen to the piano, i call it piano love. And if i do say so myself, it is one of the best loves out there.

Lost in Piano Love.

Scariest thing Ever.

2011-02-10T20:10:00.000-08:00

I have the best family in the world, the best friends in the world, i am a well off lady.

My parents tought me good values. They tought me how to work for things, rather than have everything handed to me. I can only thank them for everything they have given me.

My friends are always there for me. Sometimes we bicker, but who doesn't. i don't know what i would do without them. they are my rocks, my people, my second family.

With all this said, my family and friends help me with everything, but theres one thing that they cant help me with. I wish they could, but they cant. That one thing is my future. They might be able to guide me, and add in their opinion, but all in all its my decision, Which is the scariest thing in my life.

Being a sophomore in college and not knowing your future is not only unknown and stupid, but its scary. It is that one thing holding over me all the time. the pressure is on. It is not that i dont want to know what my future is, its that i dont want to screw it up. I worry constantly about it. and it makes me freak out more and more when i see everyone around me figuring their lives out. Its a burden that wont go away, not that it should, and continues to stress me out.

But hey, i found this quote (picture quote--shown below) that says: I know theres a place for me out there. I like to think that its true. I know its true, its hard to stay positive about it, but i take deep breath in and out and think about this quote. Then i remember, everyone has an unknown plan set for them...

Remember, Live in the moment

Learning process...

2011-02-09T12:33:00.000-08:00

Over the past yearish i have been learning a few different things.

Friends:

The ones who truly love you, and care for you, are the ones who are bluntly honest with you. They are the ones who wont let you forget the stupid things you do, and are also the ones who are there to bail you out of trouble(figure of speech, don't worry i wasn't in jail). The real friends that you have will stick by you, even when your going through a phase where nothing is going right in your life. Those great true friends are the ones who get you out of the house when you need to most, and are there to listen to you when you are ready to talk. There are even the ones who may annoy the crap out of you, and make you tell them whats wrong, but in the end it is for the best and their the ones who knew that.

Everyone has this person in their life, whether it being a spouse, sibling or the girl who swooped in when you needed her the most. God put these people in our lives for a reason. We may not see it all the time, but deep down we know there here for a reason. =]

Family:

You love em' you hate em'. But there your family. You cannot take them back to the store. You cannot push them away. They are your flesh and bone. You have the same blood.

I have learned that my family drives me crazy. But really they are the ones who have never left my side. They don't push me away, i tend to do that. I have learned that family is the most important thing. I may yell, fight, and leave the house for a hours at a time, but all in all they are always there when i get home, stop yelling and fighting.

Lesson i learned from family: Don't push yourself away from them. They will alway be there.

God put the people in your life for a reason, you may not know why, but he sure does. So just go with it, see where he takes you... I know better said than done. (i have been working on that)

In Gods Love

One step forward, Two steps back.

2010-06-29T13:49:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like every time you figure something important out you take a step forward, but then some thing, big or small, makes you take two steps back? I bet we all do some times.

I bring this up because i have finally figured out what i want to do, but had forgotten (kind of on purpose) all the diffrent things that go with it. which took me back two steps because i am now trying to figure out what kind of social worker i want to become, and then figure out everything i need to do with that (class wise).

Also as i sit her in mason for the summer, i hang out with my friends and listen to them talk about their first year experiences at school and how they might not come home for next summer, and all this stuff. i was thinking of im making progress with my life and everything, but i relize i am still living at home in my room, going to a community college. Which is not a bad thing i just feel like as everyone is taking steps forward im going backwards.

So i dont know, maybe this is what was planed for me, and maybe not. All i know is i dont really feel like this is where i am suppost to be right now.

One step forward, Two steps back.

Figureing it out..?

2010-04-02T00:27:00.000-07:00

So sense the last time i wrote i was completely confused and had no idea what in the world i was doing with my life... well im still very confused but may have figured out what i want to become in life...

Social worker.

I have been debating this for a few weeks now and think i might enjoy it. im not sure but maybe. i thought that i could work in a christen organizational one... if that makes sense. maybe working with the older kids.

I still am not sure.... but at least i have a better idea now.

OH and i when i signed on for the first time sense i last updated today i had a comment from laura and she had suggested social work too... so maybe its meant to be... ill find out in time.

Love you all
:)

What is college really for?

2010-02-14T18:34:00.000-08:00

Going to college normally means you have a plan for your life.. a general idea of what you want your life to look like in 4 yrs, or maybe even 2 yrs.

But then you get people like me. They have to go to college and take at least 12 credits to stay on the parents insurance. but you just have no idea where your going in life. you get frustrated with people who are always asking. you go to a family event and dread the famous question "what is your major" because you always have to answer "im not sure yet"

Well my parents have been asking me a lot latley, which is their job so i cant get too up set about it. Although today i had a very good conversation with my friend amanda. i have known her for a while and she just sat and talked to me about my life. she tryed to help me get an idea, bess her heart, of what i might want to do... it was a process.

I find this hard because i dont want to screw up on it. i want everything to turn out like god has planed.. and i want to hear what he has to say, but sometimes its hard to hear him over all the other noises in my head... and trust me, there is a lot going on up there.

I do know that i want to work with helping people in some way.. i think.

Go, go, go... STOP

2010-01-08T10:41:00.000-08:00

When your world feel like its turning faster and fast around the house everyday, and then someone says or asks you one simple thing.. it suddenly comes to a halt. Do you ever feel that way?

I find it weird how things work out like that, but thats how life has been lately. im go go go until someone says or asks me just one little things that makes me stop and think about my life. sometimes it is a good thing and sometimes it is a bad thing. but it always makes you think. And even when it is something that might make you think of your past it always slows you down and to tell you the truth that is a good thing.

I recently had this happen to me. but it was more of something i saw... kinda.

A few days ago me and my friends jess went into our fort in her house. we havnt been in there sense sophomore year. we wrote down things that have happen to us in 2008 and 2009. the things that we thought of were good and bad. but it was good for me to look bad on my life. so for that time being my life went from go, go, go to stop.

it was fun. and now it makes me think that and realize that god knows when we have to reflect back on our lives and see that even when bad things happen the good is coming and he wont let you down.

So next time you think your world wont ever stop spinning think about what has happen in the past and maybe just maybe the spinning will stop, even if only for a few mins.

: )

Cinnamon challenge

2009-12-08T15:17:00.000-08:00

So if you didnt know already i spend a TON of time at beaners. So much time at people say i live there. Which i kind of do. So sense i spent so much time there i have gotten to know all the employees quite well. So well that i would say were all friends. So Steven, who works there, challenged me to what he likes to call The Cinnamon Challenge. This consist of you eating a whole spoon full of cinnamon without water. Steven promised me that if i could do it he would either give 10 dollars OR a free drink. It took me a while to actually do it BUT i pu the whole thing in my mouth. i failed.

Now you see cinnamon doesn't dissolve with out a liquid, so when your saliva is used all up its just dried crap in your mouth that u cant swallow. Needless to say i spit it everywhere, i made a mess, and now i smell like cinnamon because it got ALL over me. i felt like i was going to die. Not really but it was SO gross.

So what i learned is 1. dont do anything steven says to do and 2. its not posible for meto eat a whole spoon full of cinnamon. OH and its going to take a while for me to want to eat cinnamon again.

Judgeing...

2009-11-22T09:13:00.000-08:00

Went to river view today. noel started a new series called "Like Jesus" it is all about how we need to be like jesus (hence the name) more and follow him instead of what we think.

last week it was summit like jesus and this week it was judge like jesus.

he talked about how there are two kinds of judging. there is heavy and light. heavy is your very blunt about judging someone and let them know. the other is light, and thats when you tend to keep on judging to yourself and when you do try and be blunt about it no one knows your judging because your not blunt about your judging.

so he continued on about all of it and it made me think about how much i do judge people and that i should probably not do it as much.

i dont know if this made sense at all but thats what was on my mind today.

Peace and Love :)

One word

2009-11-13T09:25:00.000-08:00

I was watching "one tree hill" yesterday night and one of the episodes they were in class (season one btw) and the teacher asks them to "describe in one word what you want most in your life right now. so it got me thinking, whats that ONE word that describes what i want most in my life RIGHT now....

i couldn't figure it out. a lot of words came to mind, such as:
Out, trust, answers, strength, security..

while I'm thinking of these words i come up with sentences, and the biggest sentence that i cannot out into ONE word would be... I want to know what happens next. i also think to myself, i want to know where i belong in the future so i can plan out my life...

Next i think about all of these words, and sentences and i know i cant control them, as much as i want to i cant. So what do you you do, put it in gods hands. this i hard but you wont get to where your suppose to be unless you out it all in his hands.

that is what i learned from one tree hill. well i filled in between the lines.

:)

2009-11-05T18:21:00.000-08:00

I dont have to much to say, yeah i know what your thinking.. "you haven't had anything happen to you in a month?" well actually no. nothing exciting. buttttt......

i have been finding god in a lot more in everything that i have been doing. like school and babysitting/ dog sitting. i have also been finding that listening to 88.1, smile FM, has helped a lot. just listening to music that people have written though there journeys with god and rejoicing him where ever im driving to is great. and when they have storys on about people is just so great to listen too.

so when i feel down, or am missing my friends a lot (like lately) i try to listen to christen music or read my bible and it always helps a lot!

Jesus loves you :)

Locked out...

2009-10-09T20:45:00.000-07:00

Oh boy is it story time!!

Tonight was homecoming and i was supper bummed i couldn't go because had to babysit. i was mainly bummed because all my friends were going to have a fun sweet night while i sat around and babysat. Well my night was much more eventful than i intended it to be...

the kids finally went to bed and so i poped in some gilmore girls and started some homework. there dog (zena) needed to go out. so i guess what your suppost to do is watch her to make sure she dosnt wonder off, which is what i did. but heres the kicker, i also shut the door and locked myself out. this has always been my biggest fear while babysitting.

As i'm sitting out side, the rain AND snow coming down on me. no shoes and just a T-shirt and thin sweats i start to panic. i'm cold and tired and i just dont know what to do because the kids are sound asleep and if i wake them ill scare them. so i thought about it and sat on the cold step some more when i relized that their neighbors lights were still on. so i got up the courage to go over and knock on there door, at like 10:00 10:30 at night.

Finally the guy opens the door a crack and goes "can i help you" and in this panic voice i go "hi im babysitting for the st. peirs next door and was letting zena out and accidentally locked myself out" and he was like oh " we have a key just for when they lock themselves out come in you look cold" so i waited to get the key, and they gave me a coat because i was shacking so much.

so i got into the house and finally settled myself down and then the parents came home...

i told them the whole story and all they did was laugh. and they were like oh its no big deal and just laughed.

so it was a crazy night for me. even just babysitting.

New addition

2009-10-08T14:48:00.000-07:00

Our new addition to our house (Kara) has moved in. I'm excited to have her around. its going to be really good for my family and for her. it will be nice to have another girl around instead of my stinky brothers. I'm excited!! its going to be fun.

this was short and sweet. thought i would update you on the move ins. that's all.

have a great day or night. and remember your all very special!!

: )

My Life = crazzzzzzzy!

2009-10-05T10:55:00.000-07:00

So college life is INSANE!! homework all the time class and more homework. its crazy! but its this crazy thing that i love. Wired, because i never thought i would like it. even going into it all i thought i really don't think I'm going to like this at all. i want my old life back (this came from my fear of change) with a normal schedule and everything. even the first few weeks i was like this is pointless, i don't know what i want to do with my life so why am i hear. well let me tell ya, all that has changed. i enjoy my classes. there fun, the people are interesting to talk to and its just a good different that i like. its insane but i really like it.

on top of school I'm dog sitting everyday and babysitting almost every weekend. this is crazy, manly just because I'm more like a visitor to my house more so than living there. but i love the money!! : P

Other crazy things have been happening to my family that cause HUGE change. Were going to be having someone live with us. But sense someone is living with us we were forced to box up wills (my older brother) whole room. my mom got real sad and so did my dad. but there excited to have someone fill the room. this is just a huge change for the family but a good change.

really that's all i want to write but so much more is going on. ill try and keep this updated more often for now on.

God bless all of you! he works in wondrous ways!!

"Lifes a climb, but the views great"

2009-09-20T10:19:00.000-07:00

"Life's a climb, but the views great"

I'm trying to relate life to this. i got this quote from the Hannah Montana movie. at the very end when she sing "climb"

i thought about it last night and dicided that when ever im feeling like life sucks that i should think about it this way... it may be hard now but in the end it will be great. once you get past all the tough stuff it will be a "great view". it will all turn out the way its suppst to be.

:)

What is life?

2009-09-13T12:28:00.000-07:00

SO i changed my topic from what is succsess to what is life?

I never knew how hard it is to really define the word life. if you think about it too much you can come up with anything. i've asked people and they go well i dont know ill think about it and get back to you.

so what is life? the internet defines it as a living thing. but thats not what life is. life is much more. there are so many parts of life.

to me life is.. being happy. knowing what you did today was succsesful and full of somthing instead of dead. but theres so much more to it that i just cant think if.

So i ask you what is life? what dose it mean to you? its a hard question but i think and know you can do it. take time to ask yourself what life means to you and then try to live your life that way.

<--- a google picture of abstract life

Porter= my best friend??

2009-09-11T14:43:00.000-07:00

<--- Me and my new best friend, Porter

So sense everyone is gone and i have nothing to do on my free time and no one to hang out with i had to make new friends. this is me with my new best friend. his name is porter and we get along GREAT!! now i know you are going to say "wow isn't he a dog?" the answer is no. hes just in a disguise. good disguise huh? we got it one day when we went shopping. so this is my new best friend. All my other friends aren't ever home bc they decided to go off to college, how dare them i know!!

You may wonder how we met. well we met in our yoga class. yeah we started to talk (before class) and hit it off so now we hang out ALL the time!! it was true friends ship at first sight.

yupp i know you all are jealous i would be too!!

haha : )

What is succsses...?

2009-09-09T20:58:00.000-07:00

So i have this writting class, the professor is so cool. my class is suppost to be from 6-10 but he always cuts it short. but he has us write these papers (four to be exact) and there actualy fun papers. papers that make me think about how to write it.

Last week our paper was suppost to be on a memorbal experiance we have had in our lives. this week its to write about an abstract word. im using the abstract word "succsses" so i have to start the paper off by asking what is succsses. we have to give conceret examples.

so i ask you "what is succsses" to you? feel free to let me know.

:-)

Do you ever wonder...?

2009-09-04T19:56:00.001-07:00

Do you ever wonder why the the sky's blue?
Do you ever wonder why the grass is green?
Do you ever wonder why god chose you?
Do you ever wonder why when you finally start to get close to someone their taken away from you?
I do.

I've wondered all my life. and I've always asked why. but what i really want to know is why dose god let you get SO close to someone and test by taking them away. that's what i wonder. i wonder this for many reasons. reasons that i cant even explain to myself, but try everyday of my life.

So if you wonder, and you feel the way i do, I'm sorry i know how you feel. but if you don't wonder then i think 1. that's good, sometimes but 2. maybe its good once in awhile to wonder about things. its hard to wonder about good things like why the sky is blue and not green. but its so easy to wonder about things that aren't good in life. like why is over half going hungry, or are poor, are homeless. its so easy to wonder that.

so what i think my challenge god gave me was to wonder about things and ask why, because if no one ever dose that then the world would be an even worse place. that's what i think. that's what i hope, and that's what i wonder.

Do you ever wonder why penguins cant fly?

Life update...

2009-09-02T21:51:00.000-07:00

Hey guys.

well i have been crazy busy with class. which is all i seem to do now is study. kinda sad because i miss hanging out with the people who are still here but its ok. the people in my one class are kinda wired but i am meeting this one girl who drives an hour to get to class. shes still in high school shes a Senior. but class has been pretty good. i have been figuring my way around pretty good. i finally figured out how to get home using the high way without getting lost. Yay me! and have only managed to get lost a few times. I'm pretty proud of myself.

home life is fine. I'm not home much to really know how home life is. i guess it would be me saying my parents are well. dad works a lot (which is good sense he is a tool and die maker for cars) and my mom, well she has taken up cleaning peoples houses for money. which sounds wired let me explain. my parents bless us with paying for college so were not in debt when we get out, but in order for them to be able to do this my mom has to work too. during the school year she works at the elementary school helping teachers help kids i guess shes a literacy aid (i think i've hered her call herself that). but anyways all that money always went to the college fund. well now me AND will (my older brother) are in college so its not enough. so this lady asked her to help her clean houses so shes been doing that over the summer. so thats the jist for them. my little brother (ben) started football this week. its his 5th year playing i think. he loves it.

As for me. i miss my friends. i miss talking to them and seeing them. i do have to say thank god for skype! but i miss them all. its boring being here by myself. so im good just school and all that jazz.

thats my life update. boring i know but whaty can i say all i do is study and go to school right now. hopfully somthing more exciting for next time!!

Jesus loves you this i know!! :)

Family friends

2009-08-30T09:01:00.000-07:00

Last night my parents got home at about 9:30ish and the phone ring. its Doug and Susan who had just gotten to my grandparents house and were only stay for the night. so we all trucked on over there at like 10 at night. we never see them and it was so nice to see them. there old family friends of ours.

Let me tell ya Doug, well doug is one of a kind... you may say well isnt everyone one of a kind? well yes but doug is idk if theres a word for it. you see he works at a funeral home. Yes a funeral home! so the stories he has are HILARIOUS!! Dougs been around so long that he knows all of the stupied things we have done. so everytime he comes by to vist he ALWAYS trys to make sure he throughs in and makes fun of all the stupied things we have done. its always SO much fun to see them!! they just crack me up!

Anyways everyone has them, weather there actually part of your family or if what we call them are Add ons. gotta love them!! so even though i didnt get to bed till 2:30 it was SO worth it!

: )

Fears

2009-08-25T18:58:00.000-07:00

Everyone develops fears throughout there lives. ear of spider and height's seem to be the biggest ones. There are other fears like fear of water, dogs, drowning, flying, death, etc.

Some of my biggest fears are Heights(or falling), snakes (big or small), flying, and probably more. But lately my biggest fears have been... Failing, change, being forgotten, and loosing contact.

Time to explain i guess. Today i said good-bye to one of my best friends because shes leaving for college tomorrow. i think I'm more upset because every ones gone and I'm still here in little old mason. I have this fear that ill be forgotten while every ones away. That we will all loose contact with each other and not be friends. i mean i know ill loose contact with some of them but it sucks to be at home still sometimes.

But anyways that's been my fear. change sucks and its a scary thing. Also not knowing whats going to happen sucks too. but ill try to put my trust in god and try to remember he knows whats going on and let him guide me the right way.

Random thoughts and stories

2009-08-19T21:31:00.000-07:00

well i went on vacation with some friends (and my mom) to my grandparents place, it was kinda like the last big thing we did all together. it was alot of fun. we almost died though. we got stuck out on the water in a storm. it was crazy! funny now but really scary then!

The other night was INSANE!! i went to feed the dog like i do every night and when i opened the door there was a RACOON leaning against the door. when i opened it it almost came into the house! it was crazy! i screamed so loud, i woke up my whole family. it was weired because the garage doors were all closed so we didnt know how it got in. im convinced it lives in the ceiling but my mom says it dosnt. Who knows!

Yesterday i went to an old friends house in northville. we ate dinner at a little place called rebecas and went back to her house for brownies. we chated and just spent time with her. we met her new puppy milo. i dicided i like mason better.

Today i had my first college class. i was really nerves at first but when it started i relized that its nto bad at all if i just keep up with everything.

i think thats all. i cant really remeber anything else. i have a bad memorie...

How do you know everythings going to be ok??

2009-08-17T20:52:00.001-07:00

The biggest question i have in my life right now is "how do i know everythings going to be ok?"

i put this up as a facebook status and people commented on it and they said... (btw some swear so just so u know its not from me)

"You know because it always, without fail, turns out exactly how it's meant to. And that's ok."-Taylore H.

"you don't know how its going to turn out but always remember that everything happens for a reason and eventhough that situation may suck and hurt like hell, it teaches you something that was meant for a bigger purpose" -Cassy B.

"you don't know that it's going to get better anymore then you know if it is going to be raining in three weeks. All you can know is that it is out of your hands, whats done is done, and you need to just take things as they come the very best you can." -Pam S.

As i read these over and over again from very smart gals i think there all right but i still cant come to think that its all true. i mean the one from cassy is my one. bc its stright forward and very true. but idk its hard to think that everythings going to be ok. i wish i had a magic crystal ball that saw into the future to see if everythings ok. but i dont have that power. so i have to put my trust in god which leads me to my last post...

So i guess i need to trust god more...

Everything happens for a reason?

2009-08-12T07:41:00.000-07:00

At times i want to believe this this is true. Actually i always want to think its true, and i always think it until something happens and i know i cant personally handle. its hard to handle things by yourself when you really need help from God.

I don't know about you guys but i always find it hard to use my "other" set of eyes. Your probably like "what the heck is she talking about". well i see it as if your a believer then you have two set of eyes. your main set that you use all the time... i call them the Human eyes, and the set you should use more often but always think you can do it on your own, i call those your faith eyes, or something like that. See for me when i need help from God i always think (well i want to think) that the answer is just going to show up when i randomly open my bible, like in movies. but that's not true. in order for this to happen i need to use my "Faith eyes" and pray AND read my bible. The more i pray the more likely ill get my answer, its just all up to admitting that you need help (its the 1st step no matter what it is, its the hardest) and asking for it.

Anyways back to the title "Everything hap pends for a reason"... when i think about this i need to think well if i wear my "Faith eyes" more then its true, but the more i wear my "Human eyes" the more likely i tend to think when something goes wrong theres nothing i can do but sit in my room and cry myself to sleep. But like i said I'm going to be stronger and admit defeat (sorta) and ask for help from God. or I'm going to try more and More to.

Everything DOSE HAPPEN for a reason

: )

The sky is falling?? No just the bathroom ceiling

2009-08-10T12:26:00.000-07:00

So our down stairs bathroom is right under our upstairs bathroom. and in the upstairs bathroom there is an opening where the cat likes to play and walk on the down stairs ceiling. well sense she has been doing this she has been recking the down stairs ceiling which consist of it gradually dropping lower and lower. well today i went to close the bathroom door and all the sudden the ceiling decides to drop down! it was a scary sight. so two panels are down and three others im just waiting to drop. once the at steps on them not only will the ceiling be dropping but so will she.

haha so that has been my day. i slept real late and almost got hit int the head with ceiling titles, its been eventful.

yesterday was really fun too. my mom and dad came home from there trip by themselves and jess cam over. well me and jess got borde. might i add it was PORING rain so we dicided to go out in the rain and run in it!! but then it started to lightning REALLY hard so we came in. the first time we we did my dad yells out, holding tin foil in his had, "alison you forgot your hat". yes thats my father!

the past 2 days have been very eventful. who knows whats instore for the rest of the day!

: )

Jesus loves me this i know..

2009-08-09T07:55:00.000-07:00

last night i went to church for the first time in a long time. i forgot how much i missed it. My favorite speaker spoke and it was just one of the best talks i have hared in a long time. Noel (the speaker) talked about temptations and about john the baptist. we read through Luke about how Jesus was in the woods (idk if it was woods forest or anything else something like that) for 40 days and how he wasn't able to eat for all 40 days and satin would try and trick Jesus into disobaying god but he never did. Noel talked aboout how we made our houses out of dinomite (well it was something explosive) and everytime we lied we would add more and more gasaline to our house and somday it would blow up but if we beleive in god he will save us from our house....

So anyways it was a really good service. and i also got to go with my friend natalee who has just recently gone of wilderness. its was a good day. hearing that talk reminded me how much Jesus loves me. and that even though you may think at that point in your life you cant handle somthing that he throughs at you, he knows best and he will be there every step of the way no matter how made you are at him he will always be there.

: )

Pack.. Pack.. Packing

2009-08-06T20:01:00.000-07:00

Last night me Jess and Cora were at Leslie's house while she was at work just chilling in her room. and we found this book titled "so you going off to college" so Jessie picks it up and starts to read it. by the way you should know that Jessie is also freaking out about leaving. so in this book there was a check list on what you should bring, so Jessie writes it ALL down. there were 4 pages from and back little pages but 4 front and back! so me and Cora take it and took 25 things off her list. then today i went to her house and helped her pack because she was freaking out about it...

so i spent most of my day today helping (more like arguing) with Jess about what she really needed to take and what she was just taking. it was stressful. but i think it was just stressful because i don't want her to go. so that's been my day.

oh and i guess I'm really old and all grown up now.... according to CJ

Summers endding... Schools aproching

2009-08-05T22:40:00.001-07:00

Why hellooooo out there!!

man its been a while. i miss blogging i need to start doing it more. so i graduated! YAY!! its one of the best feelings in my life right now. had pretty much no job all summer, babysat a bunch but not a bunch to take up all my time. just enough to get money to do stuff with my friends. its been a great summer!

Unfortunately, its comeing to an end. : ( <--- sad face. everyones getting ready to leave and freaking out about it all. while i sit back and watch. sence my last post (which feel likes AGES ago) i alot more ok with going to LCC. now that i think about it more and more its the right choice for me. I'm getting excited to start classes! it should be fun!

for my summer i have been doing a whole lot of nothing with my friends. had a gad party! that was alot of fun!! got a computer. and just really hung out. i've also been lacking on edducation so what i like to do is go online and read random facts to keep my mind going. Like did you know that The original game of "Monopoly" was circular, or An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. see fun facts!

so like i said i havent done much at all. but thats how i like it. classes starts soon and then ill be bussy doing all that. we shall see how everything goes. at this point in my life i have to leave it all up to god. i know he'll steer me right its just hard for me to not be behind the wheel....

losing,,,

2009-05-06T18:57:00.000-07:00

ok wow so i rly have been slacking on writing on this. sry everyone! but i Finlay have time to stop and write....

ok so summers approaching and im getting more and more eager to get out of here! but also im starting to get sad, manly because everyone is leaving and im still going to be here. dont get me wrong i love mason in all its littleness but sometimes you grow out of something and just need a change. its not a bad thing, its just change.

but anyways back on track. thats why the title of this entry is losing. i just get nerves when i hear people talk about how they never see there old high school friends anymore. i have 2 of my best friends going ot the same collage and i dont want to be the odd ball out when they come home. and i kno i wont its just that scary feeling that i have. i feel like im going to lose them and i dont want to. but also i have friends here that aren't out of school yet and i feel like i wont ever see them anymore either and that also scares me. idk im sure everyone feels this way at one point in time but it just scares me.

ALSO i have this sweet person that i kno. she lives far away but is going to go to a collage kinda close to MI and thats sweet but it makes me sad because were both SOOO busy that we cant even talk on the phone for more than 5 mins. kinda sucks but its both our falts were just so busy right now.

so anyways its just hard to think that i could possibly lose some of the most important people in my life and i dont know about you but thats terrifying to me!

how to....

2009-03-15T20:35:00.000-07:00

i have found life becoming more and more stressful latly. just with school ending and graduation aproching i'v been finding less time for things that i like and its not a good thing.

im the worst prioritizer ever. i always want to do something but then make plans for somthing else, and to tell you the truth this isnt really working out. i dont really know how to do everything. which i dont think im suppost to do everything but im the kind of person who dosnt say no and it either hurts someone or stresses me out or both. i need to learn how to say no to things and not feel bad when i say no.

i got into a huge fight with a friend this week. there were things said that i didnt ever think i would say to him but i did. what happend was he got all made at me for not being at Club one night. and i didnt go because 1 i needed a brake from things and 2 i was helping out my grandparents. but we got into a huge fight, and at that moment i thought to my self "why me?" why is it always me that gets chewed out when im not at somthing. i dont understand it. i go to (or try to anyways) EVERYTHING!! there are very little things i dont go to, and i have my reasons for not going. but i ask you would u rather me go and not want to be there or go when i want to be there. its just stressful for me because i always want to be there but somtims for my own health or school i need to not be there. and somtimes i dont think people see why im not there.

but that story goes along with how i need to start planing things out and be more careful to not go all off on somone because im in a bad mood. i need to prioritize. i need to figure things out. i go to collage soon and i need to figure things out before i leave.

Also i need to start looking to god for help. thats one of my biggest struggles!

BIRTHDAY....

2009-02-27T12:56:00.001-08:00

yesterday was my birthday! it was a good quiet evening. my dad came home early, my friend jess came over and we all ate as a family! it was yummy dinner!! i had fun. aand when i got on the computer i had like 48 comments on facebook of happy birthday wishes!! i felt loved!! it was a good day!

ill put picture up later. there fun!!

=]]]

CRAZY life

2009-02-21T19:51:00.000-08:00

So Sorry i havnt been writing lately i'v been cray bussy! job hunting, school, life in general. its been crazy. but of well so i dont have much to say...

umm lately its been a struggle to see god working in my life. somtimes i wish i had subtitle to my life so i knew when it was happening why it was happending and what hes trying to tell me. it would help life out alot! but i guess if we had subtitles then it wouldnt be a real life, you would always know what to do and you wouldnt have anything to work for. but just sometimes i wish it. or like u can turn them on and off like when you watch a movie. but who would turn them off. not me. so i guess god knows what hes doing...actuly i know he knows what hes doing. its just a struggle to see what he wants me to and what his plan is for me.

But what makes me think the most is am i messing up the plan or right where he wants me to. i mean i am human and were ment to sin so dose that mean we mess up the plan? i dont know. but thats somthing to think about.. i know i do all the time.. tell me what you think... i would like to hear it...

ps. My Birthday is on thursday and im excited!! =]]]

never noticed...

2009-02-08T06:23:00.000-08:00

so people always said that Senior year was a crazy year for everyone.. but i never really believed any of them. and lately i have been noticing how stressful it is and how crazy your schedule is. i have been just go go go. i haven't really st oped to relax in weeks. my weekends have turned into getting stuff done and not me just hanging out and relaxing. i decided it sucks. and now i have to go find a job because I'm completely broke! and in order to have money while im going to collage and in order to maybe just maybe get away with not working i need a job now. so if your in my area and have a job for me i would be more than willing to take it! i can do basically anything im asked. just putting that out there.

ok well now that im done putting my "resume" online.... haha but yeah so thats been life. crazy senior year. and if your not a senior and dont believe me (much like i didnt believe anyone when they told me) you"ll just have to find out fr yourself.... but its crazy!!

School.. wasnt SO bad??

2009-01-29T15:13:00.000-08:00

So normaly after school i go to jacksons room and do homework. well today i went to jacksons room and did homework.. but i missed 2 days of math and my math teacher (whoes not jackson) didnt explain it to me at all so i went to him and he spent like 2hrs explaining 2 days worth of math to me. were sitting there (me and a friend) and jackson goes "man i am hungry i want some wendys" i was like WOW that sounds SOOO good! so he was like i will give you money to go get me some wendys and in repay i will buy you and natalee(my friend) beaners!! i was like REALLY?!?!?!? and he said yes!! we were SOOO excited!! it made my day!! =]]

So today during 1st hour i told my teacher the bear joke!! it was so funny. but most of you are going to be like what is the bear joke and whys that so funny. well if you ever want to hear it just ask me. but those who do know it know why its SOOO funny!!!

That was my day. Was one of my better ones i must say!!

=]]

HIght Light!

2009-01-27T16:05:00.000-08:00

High light of my week (even thow its only tuesday!)

One of my best friends is in chilli for 3 weeks and i got to talk to her on facebook for a while!! made my day! and my week!! i love her! and miss her!! cant wait to see her when she gets back!!

=]]

thoughts

2009-01-26T18:48:00.001-08:00

ok so today was the first club back. i dont kno why but latly i just havn't been as exicted about it. maybe its because people have left and i dont know. but tonioght was good for me. i almost didnt go but it was good. i always end up going. but sometimes i wonder am i going for the right reasons or am i going because everyone wants me to go?? just alot i'v been thinking about..

everyone asks the question "where are you going to collage?" "what are you going to major in?" all these questions i dont know that ancwers to and i need to kno. the big one right now is what are you going to major in. i dont kno. i think well maybe i would like to major in ministry but i just dont know yet. i have been praying about it all and came up with that i'm most likly going to LCC because its stupied (i think) to go to a 4 yr nice EXPENSIVE college and not even have the slightest clue what i am going to do with my life. thats what i'v come up with.

so those are my thoughts. you know the seinor year thoughts... pray that i figure it all out!

No Title

2009-01-25T14:31:00.000-08:00

i couldnt come up with a title for this post. its just going to be a bunch of random stuff...

so sence i last wrote its been a interesting week. my dads been home all week with a forced vacation. its been.. idk stressfull for me. i mean i love him but when hes always home like this i get stressed out bc he wants everything to be perfect and lectures me all the time. so after he had to come get me out of the snowbank he hasnt been the happiest with me. which i mean i understand why he was mad but it just kept going on.. so i'v been crazy stressed.

im dropping chem next tri. i'v been doing terible in and its killing me mently and in school. i cant take it anymore. so you would think that when i told my friends this and they know how badly its killing me that they would be supported right?? nope they wornt. they just kept telling me what abad idea it was. that didnt help my stressful week at all..

today i got to go to beaners (my happy place) with a sweet girl. it was good. i love just sitting and talking to her! she makes me smile. it was a good thing. a good happy thing in my week! i love her.

thats been my week... not too much idk..

Bad time...

2009-01-21T14:14:00.001-08:00

So i would just like to point out that Ice and Snow dont mix....

my day yesterday consisted of well fighting a getting out of snow banks.. just wasnt a good day.

ask me for more details

Indiana :D

2009-01-19T19:13:00.000-08:00

so i spend my whole weekend down in indiana. i do have to say it was one of the best weekens i have had in a while. my family went down to vist my uncle fred. hes been wanting us to come down for years and we just never got to it. so finay we did it! man was it a great time for me to get away from MI. not only was it SOOOO much warmer there(the live in bloomington) but just to get away from all the stress here in mason was great. it was fun. and its SO pretty there. i cant wait to go back and see him. he makes me smile all the time. i kno this is going to sound biased but out of all him great grand nices and nephews im his favorite. and its not biased. promis. today he had to go to work for a little bit and when he got back he brought me a french vanila cap! we were talking about them the day before and i told him how i loved them alot and he bought me one! hes by far my favorite great uncle(and my only-only boy of 7 children).

hes sweet and it was just what i needed... but i DO NOT recommend going on a 6 hr drive with an anoying cusion in the back seat! its was torture!! but well worth it.

i also got to spend time with him by myself. that was sweet, like i said he makes me happy everytime i see him. at family get togethers i look forword to going to see him. it was a great weekend!

=]]

shuting down..

2009-01-16T08:35:00.001-08:00

i am finaly about to the point where i am going to give up on school. im really just done. i dont know if its the seinoridis or what but im waaaaaay done with high school. im tired and stressed and im just done with it... good new (as i say in a sarcastic voice) we have a WHOLE nother tri to go AND were not donw with the 2nd tri. good news huh?!?

pictures of the 8 shots night

2009-01-11T17:09:00.001-08:00

it was the icecram party that turned into us drinking coffee and eating just a little it of icecream

yes she really is licking me(it was gross)

hope you enjoyed it!!

Expresso + 8 shots = yummy/real hyper

2009-01-10T19:45:00.000-08:00

so friday night i hung out with natlaee and chloe! it was oneof the best nights i have had in a while. here goes the story....

i get to nats house and i was really tired and mello and nat and chloe were too. we were supposted to have a icecream party with jello and mashed potatos because nat got her wisom teeth pulled. and she couldnt eat so we came up with this "party". but sence we were too tired we just sat there, so i dicided that we needed coffee so we were going to go to our fav place eva... beaners. we get there and we look at eachother and chloe was like what should we get, an i said teddy bear big chill (thats our usual) with 6 shots.. chloe was like lets go for the gold and get 8 SHOTS!!! so as you can imagen we did it. i dont recoment it if your by yourself. we get back to nats house and are all hyper by now an start a dance party. nats family starts coming home and when they see us there faces were just priceless and then when we told them about the 8 shots they were in shock! it was a great night. we danced took a MILLION pictures (they will be on facebook soon) ate just a little icecream, never touched the jello( but nat did forget abotu the boiling water and boiled it gone) never even came close to mashed potaos, and nat whached one movie. me and chloe fell asleep during it. yes we did fall asleep.

that was our night. ill put pics on facebook and maybe on here!

=D

Its ALmost over.

2009-01-03T12:04:00.000-08:00

My nice easy long brack from school is almost over. its coming to an end and i feel like i did absolutly nothing. probaly bc i didnt do anything. me and my friends has sweet plans made btu then we never did any of them. oh well. back to school monday. =(

taking life one step at a time...

2008-12-22T19:41:00.000-08:00

there are some things that i will never understand... (actualy theres probaly alot) but the main one is... if god wants us to be happy and have good lives then why dose he put us through situations that arnt good... or why bad/ sad things happen to us...

i'v just always wonder that. and i know that if i were to ask someone whose a Christan i would get alot of different ancwers but i think the main one would be its the devil trying to mess with you and mess things up... welli for one would like to know how to stop it. theres just some things in my life that i would like to know why they are/have happend to me. its just somthing im always trying to figure out but i know ill never know. just wish i could figure it out. as said in a boy meets world "lifes tough, get a helmet" but somtimes wareing a helmet wont help you from getting hurt... when do you do then??

the unanswerable questions... i just wish i could ancwer them not just for me but for those who have the same questions... the people who try to figure them out too...

all i know is that those questions are unanswered and only god can fix them for us. so my advice to you and me is to stop over thinking it all and take life one step at a time. some good will come out of it... and for the things that your struggling with jut pray and he will ancwer...

its hard for me to take my own advice so its probaly hard for someone who dosnt even know me to take it... i just hope it helps...

John 3:17
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

My Life

2008-12-18T14:53:00.001-08:00

So i have this class called creative writing. its a sweet class my teacher is sweet (some of you know him) and its just fun so far. well the first thing we've done is created a CD of our lives. this is how its made...
1. you pick 9-12 big milestones in your life.
i chose birth(it was required), meeting janae, janae moving, will going to collage slash kinda our relationship, my car acident last year, my faith, graduating, being out on my own (he also wanted ones for the future, my wedding song, and my death...
2. you picked songs to go with it my songs were int he same order of the milestones...
you are the sunshine of my life by stevie wonder, best friend- s club 7, goodbye-spice girls, you'll be in my heart-nsync, jesus take the wheel-carrie underwood, someones whaching over me-hillary duff, graduation song- vitamin c, a place in this world-taylor swift, for all time-soluna, and circle of life-lion king
3. you have to make the CD booklet and cover...

now we had a week and a half to do this and i missed alot of work days because i was sick. i dicided that Mr. cunningham(my teacher) is the sweetest person ever because 1st he extends the due date for just me... then whenmy printer wasnt working i explained to him everything before class started (liike i went to early to school to talk to him) and he said well if your name gets called to day to present then present your CD and your explinations. i had it all dont just had to print it all off. hes so nice so i presented my CD but no one got to look at it. it went great. it was good. and i dicided that if god wasnt looking over my solder through this all i wouldnt of ever made it. thats the story of my life.....

NEW!!

2008-11-26T14:05:00.000-08:00

new scedual. i love it.

fun with friends less stress. turkey day tomorow. wills home. i got a new phone. i'v got sweet plans for next friday. im getting ducktaped to the wall. im going TPing. i have a date to the winter dance... lifes going very well as of right now. hope it stays that way for a while. let me destress....

ill upload pics of me taped all over and when im ducktaed to the wall i will have someone take pics. cuz i will be stuck and wont be able to. im happy!!!

i thought it would be good to put up the happy part of mylife for once!! its good. gods working in my life!

loosing....?

2008-11-05T20:40:00.000-08:00

So there this girl named chloe who has a best friend who she thinks shes been loosing. iv been helping her through this time but in the mist of it all iv relized that i feel like iv been loosing one of my good friends too. its wired, when your in elementary school you hear teacher talk about how your going to loose your close friends but i never thought about it. for the most part iv kept all my good friends and have gained new ones too. but one friend that i gained i feel like im loosing because she has made knew friends who i dont think are good influences on her. and on top of all that she dosnt like 2 of my new friends because im with them all the time. but sence shes always bussy its hard to hang out with her.... i been thinking about it alot latly and i dont know what to do. we have just been drifting apart and im not really likeing it because i know she still needs me alot(i know that sounds like i think highly of myself but its not like that) i still know more about her than she dose her own self. and i feel bad because she also still relies on me. hmm i just dont know.....

i thought a post like that would be better than a me stressing out post like the past hundred million have been.

**pray for me and my friend and pray that i dont go too crazy stressing over things. and just pray and thank god for everything hes done. hes amazing and i dont think people thank him enough!

slowing down...?

2008-10-29T08:04:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened this week even tho its only Wednesday.... well not alot but some...

On Monday we had this banquette for young life. the kids served food then when they were done eating some kids gave there testimonys. i was one of them. Normaly i dont freek out abotu giving mine but this year i did. it was manly because as much as i try not too iv doughted god more than i should have this past year. just with everything thats been going on and the things that have happended its hard not to dought him. but iv been trying REALLY hard to see the good that hes done. but sence all that has happended i felt scattered and wasnt prepared to give it. it could have gone a bit better if you ask me. but then i stayed ad helped clean and didnt get home till 10:30 and still had homework.... YIKES!!

iv been sick for the week i would have to say. iv had a really bad head ach sore throt and just been supper tired. it wasnt till monday that i finaly relized why i got sick. iv been doing too much with no sleep. if you ask me its not a good idea. so this week in trying to slow down and relax. starting with today im not at school because im sleeping all day. iv also been really dizzy and cant figure out why. probaly because im sick.

i was talking to a friend and told him how iv been tired and how i need to learn to say no to people. but i just always feel bad when i do. like after the banquette i didnt have to stay that long to clean. but i couldnt say no. so thats when im working on this week. getting sleep back and not taking more than i can chew...

great advice...

2008-10-22T21:35:00.000-07:00

do you have anyone in you life who you know you can just go to and talk to and know that they wont judge you?? well i do. i have more than one actually and if you dont have someone like that i highly suggest that you try and fin someone just to talk to. i know it helps a ton!

So the past week i have been way stressed out and just not getting sleep. i got to go and to a coffee shop and talk to one of the young life leaders. i love just sitting and getting to talk to her. shes just so smart and always knows what to say. even when i sit there and dont want to talk but she knows that deep down i really do she just makes me talk to her. and in the long run it always makes me feel better. she told me that i need to give things up once in a while to sleep and to just relax. i love her to death and dont know what i would do without her.

your life is just a big test. your being graded every second of the day. just be careful what you do and what you say. god see it all and hes a tuff grader.....

break down

2008-10-15T19:28:00.001-07:00

so today i was in a good mood. then 2nd hour hits. the most confusing math EVER!! i sit there and am just frustrated!! then we learn new things in other classes... erg! school is just so hard amd frustrating this week. i cant keep my head on stright. i wish i could just fly away and not do anything and have no worrys!

but so today i went to club and thought well maybe this will cheer me up...its dident. but its ok. its just been one of those weeks where its SO hard and frustrating to find the good in things and to not question god on thigs. i really have to start working on that...

pray for me!

oh i wish...

2008-10-08T21:21:00.000-07:00

let me first start off by saying No i dont wish i was an Oscar Myer wiener...

tomorrow is Thursday and every Thursday morning i go to campianers and just for one morning out of my week get to wake up early(thats not different) and go and listen to people talk about god and get my day going better than normal. this week i am not going to campianers because i have 2 major test....

i was sitting in the chair watching TV/studying when i had a slight panic attack and realizing i shouldnt be going to campianers in the morning! now earlier in the day my oh so fav teacher was telling me how i need to slow down sleep and study, but dont try to do it all at once. i didnt listen to him which i am finding out i should have... So i start freaking out and finally decide to calm down and think about it all. i came up with still waking up early but not AS early and just go to school (well beaners before) and study for these test. in the meantime i have to call ALL the (2) people that are relieing on me to drive them and tell them i cant go on LAST min. i felt SO bad....

but anyways the point of this story is to say oh i wish i could be supper man and do it all. but i cant and that little panic attack was gods way of showing me that i need to slow down breath and relax. but i just wish i could go to campianers. it may be earlt but i love it. but i guess this is also gods way of tell me i need to study.....

*But I can't do this all on my own
No, I know I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman

your cant do it all on your own you need to relie on god...

you know you spend too much time at school when...

2008-10-03T12:56:00.000-07:00

ok so sorry for the lonf title but its shorter than i wanted it to be...

So you know you spend too much time at school with one teacher when.....

1. your friends know right where to find you in the morning and dont bother look at your locker.

2. when someone calls/txts you and ask where you are then stop themselfs and say oh never mind i know.

3. when your mom is giving your techer cookies at the end of the tri because your there SO much.

4. when your teacher has to threaten to kick you out of his room and makes you take a brack from studying and makes you go to sleep.

5. when you see your techer more than your best friends and family. (can you say pathetic??)

6. when you have one teaher tech you more than his class... =/

7. and finaly when you go into his classroom with questions ON A FRIDAY and gives you a limit on how many you can have because i guess fridays im supposted to go home and chill.

thats my life....

crazyness

2008-09-23T13:56:00.000-07:00

so in short....
my life=school ALL the time.

once a week i get club. but basicly just school. im there from at least 7:00AM to 4:30PM. its insane. and unhealthy. yup yup.

young life whoop whoop

2008-09-17T13:53:00.000-07:00

so this week was the first young life. it was AMAZING!! there were SO many people there! and i took this guy named Daniel who lives down the road from me. hes home schooled and new to the town.

so i dont know if you know how a young life club dose but the first one is always the crazyest because so many people go. which is great. but very over whelming if you have never gone and dont know anyone there. so the whole time i was like i hope hes ok!! well we were on our way home and he was asking me all these questions (hes a christen so he knows about god) about young life. it was sweet. and he said he may want to go next week! which i am just so happy that people want to go to young life!! even thow it was very awkward being in the car with him on the way there and back (it was like the 3rd maybe time i had talked to him ever) it had a good result!

** god works in mysterious wonderous ways... dont look too hard or you will miss it.

Campainers =)

2008-09-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

so campainers is a bible study before school. at first i was mad that it was SO early that i just dident want to go. but i got modivation because i had to pick people up. but after the campainers we had this week i wont be needing modivation anymore. it was so good. we talked about 9/11(it was on that day). we talked about how it was just SO amazing how when everyone was running out the firefighters were going in. it was based off stuggles. all i can really explain is that it was amazing and it has showed me why i need campainers! oh and jesus of corce!

Is it really mason high school anymore?

2008-09-02T15:25:00.001-07:00

so today was my last first day of high school. sence we changed to trimesters i knew that somthings were going to be different. wow was today the crazyest first day for me. not only was it because i was the oldest in the school but because it seemed like EVERYTHING changed! i was on my way to class knowing i have at least a min to go when a bell gose off!! i was like CRAP im going to a class where the tacher knows me i cant be late. (so you would think i would speedwalk/run to class nope i didnt.) so i get up to my tacher and i asked him what it was all about. he said its a warning bell. what the heack. its crazy! so i go through my first two classes and the at like 10:30 IN THE MORNING i go to lunch!! because we only have 5 classes and there longer than normal lunch starts earlyer and i have 1st lunch. its SO early. but i guess thats the least of my problems. so them i go to 3rd hour and then i get to 4th hour! they put me in journalism 2 and i havent even taken journalism 1. so i sit there the whole hour and feel like a fool (no one but a friend i was sitting by knew). after i go to he councling(they just love me now) and talk to them about it all. we change it and now my scedual consists of Math, Math, Chem, Civics, and a study hour.

the point of all this is it just dosent seem like mason anymore. i miss the old days. its crazy now but what ever. im out in less than a year. (sorry you had to go though ALL that just for me to get to the point)

sinor with a hard scedual??

2008-08-29T07:51:00.000-07:00

im not sure if you guys know how high school works but for the most part if your a sinor you get an eassy scedual because every sinor likes to slack off that year. well thats not what happened for me. my scedual consist of me taking 2 math classes chem and some english a child syc class. my only fun class that i have is drawing 2. im a sinor thats not how its suppost to be! im quite upste. but i cant be mad at anyone but myself because you get to choose your scedual. it sucks! but i guess i will live. in the words of my older brother "your just going to have to work your butt off this year". im basicly going to have to relie on god to help me through this year. got alot on my plate and im just going to have to have faith in god. wish me luck!!

FISH!!

2008-08-12T14:53:00.000-07:00

so its a whole story so bear with me....

So my grandama takes all of us to the liviona spree every year. (its just like a fair but they call it a spree.) and every year as much as my mom HATES this game we try to win a fish at the fish game. so normaly we just wast a ton of money trying to win a fish but this year we won A TON of them. (So like all my cusions go and they play too so thats what i mean by we won a ton of them) so we have this inch long fair gold fish that (normaly) will die fast. turns out its a trooper. its still alive after at least a month of my little brother(ben) taking care of it. he barley feeds it and its tank was discusting!! (theres no filter) so my grandma found this 30 gallon fish tank for us to have. we took it home and cleaned it out. bought good water for it and everything. now i must remind you that this fish is only like an inch long. So me and my older brother(will) got a bright idea of convincing ben to buy more fish so it was more fun and got more use. all three of us went to the store to get like one or 2 fish for ben to buy.... we came back with 6 fish. ben bough 3 i bought 2 and will bought 1. we took them home to show our parents!! the next day my mom gose to the pet store (not meijer where we went) to get fish food. turns out that we got fish that will attack each when they get big. and the gold fish send off infections to the other fish who wont be attackign any one and will die. which means the little inch long gold fish will be the only one to live.... so now we dont know what to do. will took his fish out so it would live. one fish already died.....

thats my story pics below, our cat likes the fish as you will see.....

catching up

2008-08-03T20:44:00.000-07:00

so today i got to hang out with 2 of my best frends. one who i havent seen in over a month and one who i jusst love to death and has been with me through thick and thin. we went to church and i havent been in like forever. it was really really good to go and just listen to a speacker. i'v missed young life. but anyways....

i spent over three hours just chilling with cora and jess and talking to them. catching up on what we all missed and just having fun.

we got to talking and cora brings up the wedding and asks me if i thought it was a sighn from god saying that that was the wrong choice and i should of done work crew. i told her no. then i went on to explin....... i said i dotn think of it as a wrong choice but i think of it as a chance for me to grow with god and relie on him more. everytime i had to make a decition i grew stronger in christ and in life. i became more mature with my decitions. one of my decitions was based on money and finacal things. and to shorten it my parents were willing to give me money that they dident have just so i could go to the wedding. but it was my deciton to say no and have them keep their money. in this decition i grew to trust god that that was the right thing to do and i took it as not many teen girls would stop and say NO i am not taking the money.

so i sat there at beaners and tryed my hardest to explain to them that even thow i dident go to WC i still grew alot this year just in making decitons. So no in case people were wondering i dont look at this as a way of god saying i made the wrong deciton i see it as a way of him testing me and my faith this summer in ways that i needed but just dident know......

its hard for me to think o of how mudh i gave up this summer to go to the wedding and then not go to the wedding. but like i said i am trying to trust in god. wish me luck and please pray.....

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future"

wedding= no go

2008-07-27T16:58:00.000-07:00

after alot of stressing out and alot of well crying i came to the conclution that i am not going to the wedding. its a long story that i dont really want to get into right now. but just thought i would let you all know that i am not going.

i am SO not okay with this. i gave up alot this summer to go to the wedding and to not go to it just kills me. pray that i dont stress myself out abotu this too much anymore.

** its hard for me to write somthing today.... as hard as it is for me right now to think this but god has a plan... dont over stress to figure it out.

reaching out...

2008-07-24T07:36:00.000-07:00

so i have been hanging out with this sweet girl latly. she i going to be a sophmore. she just went to camp and had the most AMAZING time of her life. we have this thing where we will go to beaners and sit and talk there or or go someplace and talk. i amso happy i get the chance to sit and talk to her. she is amazing and we talk about everything. we sat and talk about the fun times she has and about the serious times she had. i have been luck to get to know her this year. its been good to see her reach out to me and share.

i have this person in my life who likes to set goals for me... big and small. she set this goal for me that i did NOT like at all. she wanted me to start hanging out with this girl who i am not the biggest fan of. she set this goal like crazy amount ago. i only started to attempt this goal this year. well actualy like a month before school endded. see i have his friend who really liked/likes her and he wanted me to be nicer and try to be her friend. so for the sake of us all i was nice. i still dident like her but i was nice becuse my friend had asked me to be nice. (i also had to be nice because i was helping him throught the process.) so then things happended and they became real good friends. they has talked about me and one day he says to me... "she really wants to be our friend alison and would like to hang out with you." so to rape this story up one day me and jess were crazy borde and wanted to hang out with someone. we called my friend his name is bill) and sk him to hang out with us. to go putt-putting. we asked her to come along with us and i was supper nce....

that was long. but i had to get it all in so you understood it all. but i m kinda starting to relize why i dident go to work crew this summer. i think god waned me here to get on equal terms with emily before we went off to collage. now that may not be it but yoi never know. there also may be a reason as to why i am suppost to go to katies wedding. i say this because its been a crazy prosses to get there and someone had been stoping me to go for some reason... if that makes sence.

phil 4:6-7
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

done...

2008-07-22T19:54:00.000-07:00

so i made my decision.... i decided that sence i am going to CO i need money so i should probaly stay home and babysit. well in case you were wondering i am not okay with this decision. i wanted to go to camp SO bad. but i guess theres a reason why i dident. maybe its so amanda can get closer to the girls. maybe i am really needed here. i dont know i just wish i was there.

its been a hard few months. well not really hard just filled with alot of big and hard decision. i guess its gods way of challenging me.

this trip to CO has turned into alot of comfusion. we were supposted to stay a week with janae but then her mom said no. we had to change dates and everything. then we went from a plan to the bus. (which i dont know how i feel abotu yet just know its cheeper) so its just been kinda stress full and i keep questioning the whoel should i of gone to work crew or is this going to be ok... then somthing inside me says that its ok your decision was good. also i talked to katie and she is really happy that im going to be there. so that keeps me going. just hard......

**God put each one of on earth for a differant reason. its our job to live our lives and find out what that reason is...

Huge Opportunity

2008-07-17T05:17:00.000-07:00

well its been a great week. always is so much fun till the last day..... i shall go more in depth later.....

so i have this amazing opportunity... i have the chance (again) to go with the wyld life girls to camp. i went last year and it was a really good chance for me to grow with god and get to know the girls before i started wyld life.... but this year i would bee looking to grow with god and be with the girls an see how they are feeling about entering high school. and i want to be there for them at camp so they know that if they have any questions at school they are free to come up to me and ask. i know that my first day of high school i was terrified and my 8th grade Jr. leaders all came up to me and gave me a hug and made sure that i was doing ok. i just want them to feel the same way.

so i have this sweet opportunity but i talked to my mom and she told me that i should probably talk to my aunt because i babysit for her kids every week and last week i didn't really babysit because janae was in town. my mom was like well thats alot of money your missing out on and you have to get to CO in to weeks. so i just am not quite sure what to do. suggestions??

** God has a plan for everything you do and say. for every little things that happens theres a reason why.... i have learned not to stress my self out trying to figure out why it happend.... i am starting to trust god alot more than i used to. everything he dose is good even if you dont see it at first....

2008-07-12T09:53:00.000-07:00

my life is always better when my best friend is with me.... for those few days i am on the happyest place in the world.... then she leave....

janae is in town and i have maybe gotten 20 hours of sleep this whole week. maybe. she went to TWL this weekend and to her grnadmas house. she comes back monday and leaves tusday afternoon. i love that girland somtimes i just dont know how i function with her being gone all the time....

i shall put up pics later.....

NEWS!!!

2008-07-06T18:39:00.000-07:00

Got a phone call from a friend and well she is on work crew and saw a clip at one of the clubs... and well she said that she finlay knew why she was there, and that just touched my heart....

she kept telling me "i cant explain how i feel i just know why i am here now" and i told he i know how you feel. thats when i told her that thats how i felt when i made my decision this summer go to the wedding and not work crew. i just couldent explain it. and i am still struggleing with the decision i made. i am still wondering if i should of gone to work crew. everyone said to go but i went the other way. i know that the decision i made was for a reason. but its hard to sit back and just listen to everyone say how sweet there experiance was without me regretting my decision. but today i came across this verce. (it was on one of my good friends facebook in the quotes section) its So do not fear, for I am with you- Isaiah 41:10 - this just helps me when i think of the decision i made. i just hope its the right one, sence i cant go back now.....

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you
= D

Beaners & Friendships

2008-07-02T14:35:00.000-07:00

So latly i have been spending alot of time with a sweet girl named natalee. we shar this obsession of beaners coffee. mason just resently put one in and i am going to go bankrupted! but i love it SO much. but this time that i have has been more of me getting to know natalee. we have known each other but not really know each other. i have been prety close with her sister katie. and i have become close with natalee.

we are both on the water polo team. its me natalee and our friend chloe who basicly hate everyone else on the team. yup i know very functinal. but anyways thats when i started to become close to her. This summer we have a whole list of things to do together. they constist of....

1. go to beaners (we have checked this one many times)

2. go putt-putting

3. A movie

4. go to D.Q.

So far we have done well beaners. but we tend to get it at like 7:00 at night. then were up till like 4:00. crazy. well last night we went to beaners then back to her house to make Rice Krispy Treats for katie. (they were for her birthday even thow it was a month ago) then proceeded to stay up a long time. i dident leave till 1:00.

it was fun. i love hanging out with her. it makes me happy to just be able to talk to her. its a good start to a good friendship......

**Keep those who are close to you as long as you can. its the best way to keep good friends ; )

Ps.... in case you were wondering i am one of those people who refuses to call it BIGGBY

what a week

2008-06-22T15:50:00.000-07:00

well the past week has been crazy! let me tell ya......

THE WEDDING......

my family is crazy. i love them to feath but they are insane!!! sometimes i think man if only and then they auprise you and i think i wouldent have it any other way... okay let me add to all this.

My cusion Amanda got married about a week ago. it was a beautilful wedding. My family LOVES weddings because most of the time there is a open bar. and they are hugeO drinkers. (which is where i am like man i wish and then they suprise me) when i was little i was scared of them when they drank because i dident know what else to do. but now its just flat out funny and i encourage there crazy storys they tell and all the crazy things they do. i got to see alot of people i dont see much, my cusion jack (who was the drunkest one there). hes AMAZING and i never see him. i got to dance with him. it was fun. Also my uncle Fred, i love him the most (out of all the aunts and him). hes a sweet guy and we have always had a specil bond. he tought me some new dance moves (they are kinda wired) and before we was drunk (well reallu drunk) he tought me an older dance. i dont know what it was called or how to explain it without shoulding you but its sweet. ALSO that weekend i got to hang out with my brother will and his yes i am going to say it GIRL FRIEND!! (there will be pictures at the end) i got to whach her meet the family and got to see will happy. i got to get to know Alyssa alot better. i like how she makes will nice to me and him happy. OH and i sat at what we called the sover/DD- designated drive- table. i got to talk to my cousion dan and his wife. they are sweet i will show you pics at the end.....

i left early with my brother and alyssa. i had the house to my self (and will) for a week it was ever SO nice.

this weekend i babysat three days stright. it was hard b/c it was all day but it payed off.....

i also relized something over this past week. it was hard to be with the whole family sence my GG isant here anymore, but it was good too. i relized that no matter how much they frustrate me with all the drinking or how scared i was when i was little, that i wouldent have them any differant than they are. it just wouldent be the shelly family without it all. and no matter how hard it is to get together with the family and not having my great grandma (aka GG) there we will always be family and always be there for eachother.---So my wisdom for this post is...... never stop getting together with your family no mater the condition, because eventualy you will drift away and regret it....

PICTURE TIME!!

this is dan odly enough he is compleatly sobber. hes sweet!

this is terrie and dan, they are sweet to just sit and talk to

yup my dancing family

my GG. this was taken about 3 months before she died

lastly the girlfriend. i dident take this will did....

SUPRISE!!!

2008-06-09T16:24:00.000-07:00

So my best friend is going to europ for a whole month!! when i found out i was so excited for her but then i relized that i was jessie less for a month. so she left 2 day before school got out. i was sad because i dident really get to hang out with her before she left(i had exams). but i dicided that it wont be too long and i get a present!!!

so yesterday i went shopping and got this random phone call while i was at the mall. it was from jessies house. i listened to the mesage and it was jessie. i was so confused becasuse she wasnt suposted to be in the contry. i called her back and she said that there was somthing wrong with her pass por. so they were going to drive to chi-town the next day. so i got the bigest suprise ever! i was SO happy because i dident really get to say good-bye. but we hung out all night and then she left for chi-town the next day.

it was good. i will blog later on how i havent had power for 2 day! and more too.....

** when your having a touff time god knows just what to do!**

Summer?

2008-06-01T19:18:00.000-07:00

latly i have been spending ALL my time with school work. (mostly math) and i am finding myself stressed out about it all. for instance. i am failing a class that i am retaking and as of right now i have to pass the exam (very hard exam) to pass the class. whelp who knows what will happend. i am puting alot of faith in god to help me out. this time of yea just frightens me and stresses me out. i dont know it just feels like things arnt going too well right now. just waiting for school to be over. it was a hard year. i basicly spend all my time doing school work right now and i am just ready to have a some what stress free summer.

my summer should be interesting. my friends are all leaveing me for the first part of the summer. im kinda a lonner this summer. but i am going to make the most of it and spend alot of time hanging with middle school girls and looking for a job and babysiting 3 times a week. who knows i may find some good in my summer. might work out for me, just as its some what stress free!
<--- leap of faith(knowing gods there)
- words from ME: try your hardest to put as much faith into god as posible. its somthing we all struggle with but i know we can do it. when you think you have no one with you, remeber you have god! hes always there for you, no matter how big of a rut your in.

people frustrate me

2008-05-22T13:53:00.000-07:00

now as you have seen i have made my desicion. which i s good. and i am ok with that decition. have to be i already told the camp. but when people ask me or i go to tell them(certain people) there not as suppoted of my decition as i would like them to be. i have had people tell me "oh" then just stop talking. i have had people be like what ever its your decition. and then go and try to be supported. and then i have the people who have always been behind me in what ever i chose. i am thankful for those people because the other people just are making me mad! it was a hard enough decition for me to make in the first place, and it dosent make it any eassyer for me to go off and tell someone and them be upset with my decition even thow it dosent effect them. i just dont know what people think. i guess i am ok with my decition but its hard when i know what people are thinking and arnt fully with me on it. i dont know about you but it is frustrating.

i do have to say again how much i love the people who i know there opinon on it but still dont give me an ancwer when i tell them that makes me mad. it really helps being in this situation. thanks a million!

All i think is everything happends for a reason. and that makes it a bit eassyer. god works in wired ways and i love it! (most of the time) = ]

Final Decision

2008-05-18T19:50:00.000-07:00

ok decision making is done.

i made my decision with lots and LOTS of help from my good good friend mere! couldent of dont it with out her.

i have decided to not go on work crew this summer. i will go next summer but not this summer. i know people are probaly thinking "why would you go to a wedding over work crew". well let me tell ya, she is like my sister and i dont want to miss it. also i prayed and read my bible and talk to people. and in the end mere told me that i know that i am leaning more towards one way and i just need to go with that no matter what other say. so i did. and i really do feel like i wouldent of made this decition if god dident want me to go to the wedding. Also he made me make this decision for a reason. it helped me relie more on god and myself rather than other people. so in th end i feel like this is where god wants me to be, and thats where i am.

if you want to know more than what i have said just call me up and talk to me.....

Psalms 20:7
Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

desiontions & Psalm 6

2008-05-17T10:05:00.000-07:00

well i dont know what i said in my last blog but if i didnt tell you that james was going to try and find a camp that dosnt interfer with katies weding. well he looked and couldent find any openings for me. so that means i am faced with the decition again. which is alright i guess. i had a feeling that this would happen, but io was just hopeing it it wouldent. so i am giving my self till monday to make a desition and i shall let you all know what a come to. wish me luck and i am always open to advice!!

so i just got done reading Psalm 6 and it made me think. i love to read psalms because they are Davids prayers to god. but as i read through this verce it made me relize that even when you are mad at god or dont understand what his plan for you is, its ok to question him. now if you go and read psalms 6 you may take it differantly but thats what i found.

Psalms 6.....

what a week

2008-05-04T18:30:00.000-07:00

so just for an update i havent made a decition about this summer. i am going to go insane! i am about ready to say i am not going to either of them and just get a full time job this summer! i just dont know what to do! On top of all that i poped another rib out of place. and sence i only have a week left of polo i am just going to keep it like that and play until season is over. what ever.....

on a light note i got a new car. my dad got a new car and my older brother had a nice car already and my mom dident want a car so he gave me his old car. its a green pontiac bonivil(sp?). its ok. i miss my old car but i will get over it. i named it lilyan bonnie. its old name was bonnie and my dad liked that name so i had to keep it. i know they dont go together but what ever.

some verces i have been focusing on:

May the LORD answer you when you are in distress- Psalms 20:1

now this next one i understand but dont see how its working for me...

May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.- Psalms 20:4

stressed out

2008-04-30T18:01:00.000-07:00

making decisions has never been my thing. and now i am faced with one of the biggest decisions i have ever had to make. i have to decide between going to work crew or going to my old wyld life leader Katie's wedding. its hard and i an getting stressed out about it! i just dont know what to do......

What Plan?

2008-04-24T19:13:00.000-07:00

so i was wondering, if god has aplan for us all and its supposted to be a great one, then why dosent it feel like it?? i just dont understand. i mean everything in my life god has known was going to happen. But somtimes i wonder if thats the way it was supposted to go. let me give you an example from my life.....

My Best friend janae moved the summer after freshman year. now at times i think oh what a great plan because i got to get to know jess better. but other times i think couldent somthing else happen to get me and jess to become closer? i just think well is this how its supposted to be? did god have somthing else planned out but satin got involved...

its just one of those things where i sit and think of when i am missing my best friend. i tend to refer to her as my rock. even over a 1000 miles away she is always there for me. she always knows when somthings wrong. i dont know, its just somthing that i think about.

i guess what you could say i am saying is i miss my friend and alway hate saying good-bye. its harder than it would seem to be. days after i still miss her. its almost eassyer for me to not see her, but then i get sad that i dont see her. so its just a hard thing for me to deal with.

Indiana :D

2008-04-23T17:10:00.000-07:00

last weekend i got to spend about a day with the best person in the world! Janae!! she is my best friend who moved to CO end of freshmen year. now i dont really know how to explain it but i will put photos up so you know what i mean....

haha- cant even explain this

Vickie, Ken, and JANAE!!

the hole crew

that was my weekend. hope you enjoy the pictures!!

spring brake what a dud....

2008-04-12T17:30:00.000-07:00

well its been a spring brake i will never forget. its been one of those SB where you want to forget about it but just wont....

if you were to read mylast post you would have found out that my great grandma died. now you might think oh she just your GG you probaly hardly knew her. well that is right and thats wrong. i dident know her too well but i knew her so well. she was (now when i told someone this they laughed at me but its true) the nucles of our family. now my family drinks lot so that maybe why they called her the nucleus and not the core but who knows. thats what she is.

this is the one spring brake i never want to relive. it was one of the hardest things i have had to do. whatch my family go through this was horible. i had to whatch my mom cry and cry and cry somemore. i had to see my two closest cusions cry and it was so hard for me. i tryed to be strong during the funeral but i eventuly just started to brake down.

i was in the mist of a brake down bymyself when a good friend texted me. he asked me how i was doing. which i was just so happy that he had remembered and asked. but we were talking and i told him that it was hard and dident know how people did it. then i asked him if he lost anyone. he did and he said (now this was what hit me the hardest. the best advice i have gotten.) you cant forget abotu it and it wont go away. it will just start to get essier and you'll start to think
of all the things that she did to make you laugh nd everything! best advice ever. or at least thats just what i needed to hear!

but on a happier note....

i got to be with my family for four days stright. i got to be with them and comfort them. i got to hang out with my uncle who lives in IN. i mean for the most part i was happy just to be around my family, knowing that they were there for you and everything!

i dident really want to deal with things and when i am upset and stressed i sleep. and when i m not sleeping i eat. and when all that dosent work i go out and fill my head with things to do. like hang out with jessie.

whelp thats basicly it. just pray for my family. were all still taking it hard and will be for a while.

Bad time...

2008-04-05T07:37:00.000-07:00

So this is going to be a short post....

Wednesday my Great Grandma (aka-GG) had a stroke and went to the hospital. she was at least 95 years old. umm Friday morning very very early she past away. she had a great life!

i would like you to pray for my family. especially my mom. she is taking it hard. so if you could just pray for my family that would be amazing....

i am braking

2008-04-03T07:55:00.001-07:00

let me first start off with saying that i think my testimony went prity good. but heres what happend....

i get SO nerves about these kind of things. So i tried the hole put it in the back of your mind thing to see what would happen. well normaly this dosent work because i dont have anything else to keep my mind ocupied, but sence i am playing polo i have been really bussey. so eventualy it got pushed so far back that by 4th hour on monday i remebered that i had to give my testimony and dident know what to say. i was basicly freeking out. so i tryed to do it at school but thats not the best place to do it because you are su[osted to be learning other things. so i gave up. (not good) i got to dinner and the other guy who was doing his forgot too. so we were both like whoops what do we do now? so i volenteered his to go first so i could gather stuff from his to say. that dident work out much. so ibabled alittle about mylife and i think over all it went fine but i dont think so. so if you want to know the truth ask a wyld life leader who heard it and they will tell you....

But to get back on track let me tell ya. i am getting old. or somthing!! actualy not old i am just braking! it all started at the beging of march, at the polo turni, when i poped a rib out of place. i was out of the pool a hole week then got in. not good to be out for a week then play in a game. so you know i am fine for a few days but then i get hit with this HORABLE cold. i am coughing up a storm shivering like no other and have a fever. wen to pratice that day. came home dident go to school the next day. so i am like this for like a week. i go to pratice and one day dont pratice because i feel like crap. the next day dont go to school whitch means no pratice too. so again out of the pool even more days. i finaly start to get over my cold i still have a horable cough but i am doing good. yesterday morning i wake up and my eye kinda hurts and iches. i dont think anything of it and went to school. somebody told me that my eye looked pink and i was like what ever and went to my next class. (no one else saw my pink eye) so i had a game and my friends came to my game (the ones who saw my eye at school) and said my eye was really red but the other wasent. so i went to talk to my team mates and they all were like you need to get that checked out. so i went to my mommy and she said we were going to the docs.

So here i am at home while school is in sesion because if it is pink eye then i cant go to school and spred it! i am board out of my mind and trying to figure out why i keep braking. because if it is pink eye i cant swim again. dont get me wrong i love not going to pratice but my team gets made at me and i dont like that! so thats mym story of how i am braking. one thing after another.....

proverbs 3:6
"Seek his will in all you do and he will show you which path to take."

My leader Dilyn had this in her away mesage and i liked it. it makes me relize that i dont have to alway find my way on my own but god is always there guiding me! : )

Testimonys : /

2008-03-28T16:43:00.000-07:00

i dont know if you have ever had to give you testimony to younger kids before, or if you can remeber the first time you ever had to. well on omnday i have to give mine. i am insanly nerves! and its like one of those things where i just dont know what to say. whitch i know is wired because its your life, but its so nerveracing (sp?) that i dont know what to say. So as i have been sitting at the computer trying to type up my tesimony i get nerves and frustated! its just one of the those things you have to experiance to know what i am talking about. So i am trying to be good and not wing it but who knows what will happen. i just want god to tell me what to write, but i know he wants me to try to do it on my own at first. and i know that he is sitting right here next to me as i try to figure this all out and is helping me in every way posible. somtimes its just hard to see. (i may use that in my testimony-he works wonders!!!)

i am not at home so i dont have a quotes for you and i kinda dont feel like looking for one or a verce. So i will just leave you sit with this.....

Alison's advice:
God works in mysterious ways. Always be looking for them!

back pain story

2008-03-19T18:44:00.000-07:00

So over the weekend i had a water polo turnee. As i play in one of the games i get like tackled by some girl! which i am ok with because thats how the game is played....

So its sunday the day after my turnee and my back starts to hurt and i dont think anythign of it. i just throw some ice and heat on it (not at the same time of corce). i do fine and just go to bed...

Monday.... i wake up and it hurts SO SO bad. but i want to go to YL and WL so i know i have to go to school, which means i also have to go to pratice. so i went to pratice and it was like a crazy pratice really hard and while i am at polo i am DIEING! in so much pain i get out of the pool and was so excited to go to WL that after pratice i wasent anymore! it was quite sad i must say. so i continued my day in pain WL then YL. get home and just want to go to bed so i went up stairs to sleep and tryed to lay down but it hurt SO bad that i couldent. i dident know what to do so i just read sitting up untill i was so tired that i couldent sit up anymore.

Tuesday.... i wake up at 6:45 like i always do and cant get out of bed. my back hurt so bad that i basicly couldent move. so i had to stay home all day. what a bummer. haha. so my mom see that i am in alot of pain now and makes me a Docs apt asap. well there wasent one till the next day in the afternoon. So.....

Wednesday...... i have to go to school because my mom dosent like it when i miss alot of days in a row. so i go. i sit and i walk and sit and walk. all day in pain. finaly it comes time to leave and go to fin out whats wrong with me! my mom seemed to think it was just a muscel spasm so i went with it. cora thought i poped a rib out of place. i dident care what it was as long as it got fixed. the doc comes in and pushes on my back (which hurt ALOT!) and finaly came to see that i had in deed poped a rib out of place. so doc owens comes in (he owns the pratice) and pops it back in. well let me tell you they say it wont hurt... but they lie! it hurt so bad! try not to pop a rib out of place. so it hurt the 1st doc lady came in gave me some perscriptions(sp?) to fill and then my mom asked the question "well what should we do about polo?" doc lady said i cant pratice the rest of the week. which is kinda bad because we have a game on tuesday and monday i have to get out early. i am going to be water logged! YIKES!!

So to conclude my supper long entry (they have been really long latly, crazy) please just pray that i dont get water logged and my back/rib thinger heals good!

just a quote today...
"obstacles are put in our way to see if what we really want is worth fighting for"

YAY CASTAWAY!!

2008-03-16T18:39:00.000-07:00

So this weekend was CRAZY! i had a water polo turniment which was insane! we had 2 games friday and 3 on saterday. we lost them all but i think we played prety good. they put me in a position that i have never played before and i was SO confussed! but i was garding this girl and she like tackled me and like pulled a muscel in my back and now i am in major pain! but its alright.

i found out that i am going to castaway this summer for workcrew! i am so excited. at first when i put it down i dident really want to go there but it was the next closest play to go so i dicided why not. i thought i wanted to go to timber wolf but was also kinda unsure about that too. i think i was manly just unsure about doing workcrew. but then i started to read the book that we are supposted to read and memerize the verce. And actualy while i have memerizing the verce it made me want to serve more and more this summer. its just been kinda hard for me to figure out what i wanted to do with it all this summer because my parents will say one thing then say another. and it was manly just like you have to get a job but i really want you to do workcrew. so i started to get mixed feelings. i have that little voice in me say not to go but i think its just the one and many ways the devil is trying to turn me from god. So i sit and i think and i realize that i really really want to go on work crew this summer and really want to serve this kids that will be there.

i also wanted to tell you about this class i am taking. now you are probaly think oh man shes talking about school lets skip over this part... well yes i am talking abotu school but this is no ordinary class. this class is call Adult Living. its basicly a sex ed class. now you are probaly thinking great where the heack is she going with this. well i will tell you. yes this is a sex ed class btu no ordinary talk about absidence is the only way kinda sex ed class. we play games and treat everyone like family. we learn about disibiltys people have, drugs and have speackers come in and of corce sex! but the thing i am getting to is.... we are on the drugs unit and my teach is trying to get us to think about things other than drugs. (for those who do them at least) So we are doing a project. its called 300 things that make me happy. i write down 300 things that make me happy. it sounds easey btu really isant because we cant like name all our friends down or all our fav movies. it has to be senser things. So as i do this i think really hard and i get stuck. and i get frustarted. At that point i just sit relax and think about all the things that god has done for me and think of how happy i am to be here today. this is a great project for me because i get SO frustrated that i just want to sit and mope. so thi project involves me to think positive when ever i am down! thats basicly what i wanted to say abotu the class. i could of shortened it! oh well.

So to conclude this supper long entry i would love it if you would pray for me to stay positive about castaway and about this project. it would help out a bunch!

1 Peter 5:6
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

day by day

2008-03-10T18:24:00.001-07:00

Man. my life is CRAZY! i have so much going on and i dont know what to do! lets just say that Winter Jam was AMAZING! i will blog more on that late (with pictures!) but its the days to come that are crazy for me.

A.C.T. it basicly determens the rest of your life. thats how i see it. So i am taking this test (four hours long, might i add) tomarow. i am nerves in a way that not many can see. its been one of those things where people will bring it up to me and i will just kinds give them short ancwers because i am trying to just put it in the back of my mind! its a crazy test and i dont know how to do it. i was driving my friend home from club and he had metioned somthing to me. he said that its like an exam but worse, because you dont know whats going to be on the test! which got me more freecked out about it. not knowing whats on a test just makes me go CRAZY! but everyone (who isant taking the test) has said that they will pray for me! which gave me SO much comfort! So if you could just pray that the testing gose well the next few days that would be great! Oh i probay dident metion that they combinded it with the M.M.E. which is like MEAP. So its 3 days long. YES. long test are my hobby!

On top of testing i have polo AND teachers had the nerve to give out homework. what are they things. the friday after testing i have a math test. this is INSANE! this week is going to be so crazy and stressfull that people may not want to be near me! So i would like to apoligize now if i snap at you for asking me a simple question...

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Highlights

2008-03-06T19:22:00.000-08:00

So sence i havent updated in a while i am going to pull a chris oakland (a.k.a. CJ) and do my highlights (in no paticular order)....

1. MY BIRTHDAY! my birthday was on the 26th of feb. it was fun to get all the extra treatment at school. i got locker signs and food and it was good. excepted i was sick, so in a way it wasent so good...

2. workcrew training. At first i wasent sure if i wated to do it. but then everyone was like convincing me to and i figured why not at least go to the training and at the training it was AMAZING! i got hooked! i cant wait to do it now. and if i only get on the waiting list i will be okay with that because god knows what i am going to do. but i am excited!

3. This hole past weekend was great! my borther is home for spring brake, and normaly i am not too happy for him to come home. but its been very peaceful. we have been getting along and everything. i kinda like it. we kid with each other and its just fun. i like it. i also got to spend all of monday with my friend kailee. i havent hung out with her in a while (we have both been SO bussey) so we made a day to hang out woth each other. we went out to eat, got my phone fixed, and went shopping! it was one of my fav days.

4. i have been babysiting the granger boys alot latly and that is always just a MAJOR highlight for me. its not really a babysiting job because i love hanging out with them, wether i get paid or not. they just teach you SO much. and its just brightens my day!

5. this past friday i went to heartwood. for those of you who dont know what that is, its a school for impared kids. i take this class called adult living and in it we learn about disibilities (sp?) and at the end of the lession we go to heartwood for buddy day. it was one of those experiances that you cant explain, but it was a good one. i wish i could go back!

6. Yesterday my brother had his friends over and i got to see them and talk to them and just sit and observe like old times. i never really relized ho much i liked it untill it wasent there anymore. so i was happy just to sit and enjoy listening and laughing with Will and his friends!

Thats basicly all thats really happend to me (thats a highlight)....

insted of a bible verce i am going to do a quote

"God understands our prayers even when wecan't find the words to say them."

All the decisions to make!

2008-02-19T18:39:00.000-08:00

So i am a junior in high school and almost a sinor. which in my case mean i have dicided on collage stuff and what i want to do with my life. making decisions isant the easyest thing for me in life. i am more of a go with the flow kind of gal...

So i went up to GVSU (Grand Valley State University) with my family on saterday to see my older brother and atke him out to lunch/dinner. on the way up there i dicided it may be a good time to talk to my parents about collage stuff. So i brought it up. the first thingi said to them was i wanted to explore and get out. i think they took it as a i just want away from my family. which is not true. i just dont want to be the kind of person who is stuck in the same place forever. and i dont want to regret not experiancing all of that. so i talk to them about it and they want me to go to LCC first. or at lleast LCC. i told them i kinda wanted to go to a christan collage. i feel like if i would go into young life it may be better for me to go to s christan collage. but i just dontknow. its a tuff decision. i dont know how people do it. i guess i will probaly end up going to LCC. or where ever god wants me to go. i also found this collage in lansing that is a christan collage but i dont know. i will keep looking.

it was wired i was looking at collages in MI (actualy i was looking at christan collages) and the 1st one i click on was in lansing. and so i feel like that may be a sign as yo what HE wants me to do. but i am still figuring it all out. and its just a long process. i have another year. its just ALL so frustrating somtimes...

this verce dosent really go with what i talked about but i liked it!

1 Corinthians 10:12
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!

Ps. Chris i hope you find it in your heart to give me your those shorts for my B-day! i would looove it! you would be ONE of my fav leaders! :)

I <3 JESUS!

2008-02-11T18:25:00.001-08:00

So i would have to say that monday nights sre my favorite nights of the week! you may think eww mondays suck. well i think YES MONDAYS!! as much as i hate getting up in the morning and going to school on a monday i still love them. manly because of Wyld life and Young life.

WYLD LIFE!!

i love being a Jr. leader! this hole year i have helped lead middle school kids to christ. its amazing to see how they grow to god just for once a week. i love getting connected to them and seeing them light up when ever they see me. its one of the best feelings in the world! and i am SO happy i get to experiance it. We have dinner at my house every week before we go off to wyld life. And we recently just started a little bible study before we eat. it helps to just read the bible before to keep in mind the reason we are doing this. its just amazing. and i love it. its helps me get to know incoming freshmen and it helps me grow stronger in my own faith. which i always good.

me and another leader get the privlige to shar our testimony with the middle school kids. for me at times i feel like YES i love giving my testimony and then there are the times when i am like oh i have to give my testimony to middle schoolers... its not the easyest thing to do, espesaly in front of middle schoolers. it will be a chalenge for me, and i like a good challenge!

YOUNG LIFE!!

EVERY week i go to YL. its the best time ever. seeing people you love and singing songs as off key as posible. its amazing. words just cant discibe how much i love it. best time ever and i think everyone should go. young life is just one of those things that i cant discribe with out it sounding like "oh i dont want to go". So i always just say you have to go to really understand the joy of it. i just LOOOOVE young life. thats all i can say...

MY LIFE-

So right now in my life i am experiancing god in a hole another way. its a good way. i am getting closer to him and in need of somthing stronger. My church is doing baptisms this sunday and i have never been baptised. my parents wanted it to be our choice. i really want to do it. i was talkiing to my friend janae and she was like totaly do it, it will be amazing! but then she says (she lives in CO.) if you can, can you wait till i am in MI to do it because i would really want to be there when it happends. which i was like totaly. and it was funny she said that because i have fussing with the idea for a while and havent wanted to do it because she is in CO and i want her there with me! its just a hard thing for me to dicide. SO if you have any sugestions i am open to them! feel free to pass on your knowlege.

So thats where i am in mylife right now. some days its more complicated than others. but for the most part i am happy with it!

Luke 18:27
Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."

Work Crew!

2008-02-05T18:14:00.001-08:00

So i went on work crew this last weekend. its a weekend to serve the kids and to see god work in your life in many differant ways....

i saw god SO many ways this weekend. let me first start off with on the way up there we got into an acident(sp?) it wasent with anyone other than black ice but it was crazy. it was the kind of acident where it really opens your eyes. i wont go too much into the prosses of it. but it did show me how god was there and he was whatching over us. all weekend long it kept circling in my head how if one little thing was differant then we could of gotten hurt. i also kept thinking that if god wasent there then who knows what could of happend. it opened my eyes to a hole new level. when the people in the other cars came running to see us and to make sure we are ok it made me realize how much everyone loves me and everyone in that car. i kid around with the other leaders alot and i know how much i love them but when they came running i love them more at that point of time more than i have loved the in my life! it was just crazy for me to see how god was right there with us teaching us a lesson in a way that we dont know yet...

Work crew was AMAZING! i just loved it. at times i got really frustrated with things but i got over it because it wasent my weekend and i knew that. we get stuck in this lowsy room, that the beds make nosie everytime you move and as soon as i saw it i was like no way! but then i got to thinking again this isant my week, i dont need a bed to sleep on. as long as the campers have a bed then i am fine. So i dicided i was going to be positive about it. and it turned my hole weekend around. it made the other girls who dident like the room in a bit of a better mood because i was positive about the hole thing. When i was serving/ bussing table i woukd get frustarted or not want to do it any more because it was hard. but then i would remeber that jesus loves me SO much that he wants me to be here and show everyone that i am happy and can serve with a smile. i saw God so much this weekend its crazy,but i loved it to death!

i learned this weekend to have a better attitud about things. but a more positive spin of things. So as the days go on i am going to try my hardest to be more positive about things that i wouldent normaly have a positive attitude about. because i went on work crew i found this out and i am SO glade i did. God loves me and he for sure loves you!

Psalm 105:1
Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done.

Good friends are tough to find...

2008-01-30T08:26:00.000-08:00

A TRUE friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face!!

i saw this quote and it got me to relize how close i have gotten with jessie. i dont have too many close close friends that i can talk to about anything and everything. but when janae left i thought great i dont have anyone i can be supper close to and be comfertable with them and their familys. but when i read this quote i realized that i see one of the reasons why god sent janae off. i know its not the only reason but its one of them....

before janae left i was always with her. i dident really pay much attention to jessie. and theres more to it then i just dident pay attention to her. but in a way i am glade janae left so i could get closer to jess. she is now my go to girl when i am in a crappy mood, because she is right there!

i am SO close to jessie now that when i am trying to hide my bad days with a smile she sees right through me. and at times i think man i wish she couldent because then she makes me talk to her but when i am done talking to her i relize that i feel a little better and i am glade she sees through my fake smile and makes me talk to her. i am also so so SO happy for her family. they are great to me! and i love them like i love my own! her dad helps me out with school work and her mom is just SO nice and sweet and i love her. jessie's sisters and really nice to me too. jamie treats me like i am her sister and its just fun. i love being over there.

At times we fight, but what friends dont fight? i think somtimes i feel like i am closer to her than my other friend cora. me and jessie have si much in common. i just love her to death! and i am glade that she is the kind of person who sees through me and knows when somthing is wrong with me. if it were thanksgiveing time i would say " i am thankfull for jessie!"

i know there is mor to janae leaving then me getting closer to jessie, but i feel like i finaly found one of the reasons..... and i am glade to say its a good reason!

Psalms 16:11
You will make known to me the path of life ; In Your presence is fullness of joy ; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever .

Good weekend?

2008-01-21T17:49:00.000-08:00

it was a interesting weekend. my parents were out of town so it was just me in the house, and it was SO wired. i have never stayed in the house with just me before. i have always had my older brother home with me, or someone older. the first night i got like an hour of sleep. it wasent the best. So i thought well if i had someone with me i will be fine. that dident work out either. So the last night i was SO tired that i HAD to sleep. i fell asleep at like 8:00 in the morning. woke up every hour. but it was good....

i went to my cusions apt today. i went to best buy and she lives on my way home so i went over to her house on the way home. it was fun. she had just gotten Gitar Hero the night before so she was playing that! it was fun. then her boyfriend woke up and that was just supper funny! i had a lot of fun there! i always love hanging out with them. she is always so willing to hang out with me. which i found AMAZING!

Today i also went out to dinner with some girls from wyld life! it was fun. i love seeing them! i also got to see Amanda. she is an AMAZING girl. i love her SO much. we shared a dinner and just talked. it was fun! after we got dinner me and Amanda went to best sellers to get something to drink. its was an interesting time. i love hanging out with her. we sat in my dads car and talked for like 20 mins. and then we both relized we had to leave. it was a really fun day/night!

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
-1 John 3:18

Changes in life

2008-01-19T08:00:00.000-08:00

i have got to thinking alot about changes. and i am not the biggest fan of them. i guess some change is good. like fun change. but somtimes change isant good. let me tell you a story...

Once apon a time, there was a little girl, lets name her Gloria. she had a BEST friend. we will name her best friend Margret. they hung out ALL the time. once there was a time when they saw each other EVERY day for like a week. they never got sick of each other. Gloria and Margret would laugh and cry and cry b/c they were laughing SO hard. it was a perfect friendship. One day Margret asked Gloria over and told her that they were moving to Oklahoma, b/c her ddad got a job as a farmer and he would be making more money than he was now. Gloria was in Shock! she dident know what to say... but as time went on it hit her more and more. Gloria offered to help Margret pack and clean. for days at a time they would do this. through out this packing time Gloria got sader and sader. it was just along prosses. it was a sad time for Gloria...

i tell you this random story because it got me thinking that now change in my life is a huge thing. it might also be part of the fact that every sence she left it has seemed like everyone leaves. i guess you could say that i dont see where go is going this yet. and i hope to find out soon. its been kinda a while sence i got to see my best friend and its hard to just talk to her on the phone. i also have come to find that its hard for me to make big desisons in mylife. just because i dont want to make another dragitc (sp?) change in my life(unless its for the best.) i guess i just really want to know what gods plan is for all of this. somtimes it hard to not be able to see his plan. AND it drives me CRAZY!!

i just hope Gloria and Margret are happy now. i am sure they are.

THE ENDING...

Gloria and Margret talk to each other DAILY on the phone. if not like 2 LOOOONG conversations a bunch of little ones,. Margret likes it in oklahoma. she helps out on the farm. she had duck and chickens that she takes care of. Gloria has made another specil bond with... lets call her Lucy...Lucy. they spend a ton of time together. and its good for Gloria to have someone in Mason that she can go to like she would if Margret was there....

i hope you enjoyed my story. i thought it was a good one for this topic. Remeber even if you dont know it or cant see it yet. god has a plan, So dont get too frustrated trying to figure it out.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
-Psalm 119:105

differant kinds of entrys

2008-01-17T19:16:00.000-08:00

Its been a crazy time for me latly. Sence i have been back to school i have dont basicly nothing but get ready for exams. which ment LOTS of homework. nornamly exams them selfs are more stress full for me than the few weeks before, but this year my exams arent too bad but before exams was CRAZY. day after day i have TONS of homework and not much time for anything elses. it kinda made me sad. but as i take my exams i am glade i put so much work into the past few weeks just because now the exams them selfs arnt too bad.

i am more of a leader kind of person rather than a follower. i am the one people go to if they want to know somthing. i am the person who orginizes everything. Me and my friend cora were sitting in my living room on new years eve and we were trying to make resolutions. well cora said maybe this year we all could help you out rather than you just figuring out everything. i turned to her and said cora if we make that our resolution it wont last 3 days. and you better bet the mext day people were calling me about a bunch of differant things. So i think that when i am stressed out about somthing its not just one thing. its a bunch of things. and i think its also manly because somtimes/ all the time i take on took much. and when people ask me if they can do anything i either say no or give them a little bit to do because i dont think they will do it or they forget or somthing like that. i know thats bad but its just how i feel. Also this year i am working on not freeking out at people when they make me mad. i tend to just start snapping at them and i have found that it dosent help the matter any better. So thats what i have been working on. its manly just with my friends that i am working on it but i should probaly start trying with my family too.

Do you ever feel like you arnt home enough or you should be hanging out with your family but you try to get out of it? well thats been happening to me alot. i feel really bad about it but i dont know what else to do. somtimes i dont even relize i am doing it. i got a cute mesage from my mom the other day saying that she missed my older brother and she dident want to miss me. it was one of the sweetest mesages i have ever gotten. but when i got it i was on my way to the mall with my friend and not home, so i felt gilty about not being home. and alot of the time i am at my friend jesses house more than my own house, and i know my family misses me, but somtimes its easyer for me to be there because all we seem to do latly is fight. i guess i am trying to be home more but its hard. sence will has left they feel like they never see me and i know i am going to collage in a year and they know that too. which makes them think there isant much more time left with me. So i am working on that also. i have alot of goals for me this year.

My last goal of this entry is..... To see Phillis in real life! not many people will know what i am saying but the ones who do i hope it makes you laugh!! its a goal i HAVE to acheve before schools out!

Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. 1 Thessalonians 5:15

HAPPY 2008?

2008-01-04T20:06:00.000-08:00

its a new year already! all i have been hearing latly is "i just cant beleave its 2008!" its crazy. i remeber the year 2000 came, i was in 3rd grade and my teacher told the hole class that thw rold was going to end so go out and buy a bunch of caned goods. i went home freeked out thinking that the world was ending. it was a tragic time for me! but its just crazy for me to hear people always say, "WOW, i cant be leave it ___ already", Also people talking about there new years resolutions. my HOLE life i have only EVER seen 2 people keep theres for the hole year. its wired how people make resolitions but dont keep them. i say if your not going to keep it then dotn make it. i dont know it dosent normaly bother me but this year it has for some reason. maybe its because this year a going to be sort of a crazy year for me. exams,wyld life,young life, polo, piano, and a job?. i have to jugle everything this semester (ok so i guess its this semester more so than year) that my brain may blow up. i am not the best at jugleing more than like 2 things at the most. its just gets a little kayotic. i guess i should just sit don relax and know that god wont give me more that i can chew. its just a lot for me to take on right now. and i guess it looks like more on paper than it really will. we can only hope! its just all so overwellming. i am hoping for a good year, another thing everyone says, but i really am.

hope everyone will have a great 2008. or at least try. make the best otu of your life. you never know what can happen!

Wyld Life/ Young Life

2007-12-30T20:06:00.000-08:00

i dont know if i have said anything about being a wyld life leader (jr. leader that is) but i am. and my goal being a jr. leader was to get to know the girls well and to to make it so they know that they can trust me and i can be there for them. at times its really hard to be a good leader, like when i am in a crappy mood and have to go to DIG or somthing like that. i feel as if i am being a bad leader. or like when somthing gose wrong in my life and i dont handle it right i think well i a wyld life girl were here right now what would they think of me. so i find myself thinking of that alot. but i am enjoying it alot! and i find myself thinking more and more about going into young life. i think it would be a great career for me. when people talk about how they have passions for like basketball and soccer i think to myself i dont really have a passion for any of that. then i relize that i have a passion for young life. which is when i think about going into young life. i see my leaders right now who are going to graduate diciding whether or not to go into young life and i see how hard of a dicision it is for them. and i think well i hope its not that hard for me. i just hope that the girls realize that i am there for them if they need me. i know i looked up to the Jr. leaders when i was in wyld life. so i just hope they relize this.

Today i hung out with this sweet 7th grader named Amelia! she is an amazing smart girl! i met her this summer at camp when i was there leader. i just got atached to her! but i got the privlige to hang out at one of my favorite places in mason, best sellers! we sat and talk for a little while and then we went over to her house and she gave me a tour of her house and we sat on her room and just talked for like 2 hours! i got to get to know her SO much better. and i got to learn more about the way home school is set up. it was the 1st time i had ever hung out with one of the girls outside camp and DIG. it was a great time and i loved it! we got to talk about winter weekend coming up. and just a bunch of things! she is a WONDERFUL girl and i cant wait to get to know her even better! i plan on hanging out with other girls too. they are ALL amazing girls and love them SO much!

being a wyld life leader has shown so much of god. i can see him the best when i am at DIG. i just love being there and seeing all the kids learn about god and taking it all in! its the best feeling ever!