losing,,,

ok wow so i rly have been slacking on writing on this. sry everyone! but i Finlay have time to stop and write....

ok so summers approaching and im getting more and more eager to get out of here! but also im starting to get sad, manly because everyone is leaving and im still going to be here. dont get me wrong i love mason in all its littleness but sometimes you grow out of something and just need a change. its not a bad thing, its just change.

but anyways back on track. thats why the title of this entry is losing. i just get nerves when i hear people talk about how they never see there old high school friends anymore. i have 2 of my best friends going ot the same collage and i dont want to be the odd ball out when they come home. and i kno i wont its just that scary feeling that i have. i feel like im going to lose them and i dont want to. but also i have friends here that aren't out of school yet and i feel like i wont ever see them anymore either and that also scares me. idk im sure everyone feels this way at one point in time but it just scares me.

ALSO i have this sweet person that i kno. she lives far away but is going to go to a collage kinda close to MI and thats sweet but it makes me sad because were both SOOO busy that we cant even talk on the phone for more than 5 mins. kinda sucks but its both our falts were just so busy right now.

so anyways its just hard to think that i could possibly lose some of the most important people in my life and i dont know about you but thats terrifying to me!

how to....

i have found life becoming more and more stressful latly. just with school ending and graduation aproching i'v been finding less time for things that i like and its not a good thing.

im the worst prioritizer ever. i always want to do something but then make plans for somthing else, and to tell you the truth this isnt really working out. i dont really know how to do everything. which i dont think im suppost to do everything but im the kind of person who dosnt say no and it either hurts someone or stresses me out or both. i need to learn how to say no to things and not feel bad when i say no.

i got into a huge fight with a friend this week. there were things said that i didnt ever think i would say to him but i did. what happend was he got all made at me for not being at Club one night. and i didnt go because 1 i needed a brake from things and 2 i was helping out my grandparents. but we got into a huge fight, and at that moment i thought to my self "why me?" why is it always me that gets chewed out when im not at somthing. i dont understand it. i go to (or try to anyways) EVERYTHING!! there are very little things i dont go to, and i have my reasons for not going. but i ask you would u rather me go and not want to be there or go when i want to be there. its just stressful for me because i always want to be there but somtims for my own health or school i need to not be there. and somtimes i dont think people see why im not there.

but that story goes along with how i need to start planing things out and be more careful to not go all off on somone because im in a bad mood. i need to prioritize. i need to figure things out. i go to collage soon and i need to figure things out before i leave.

Also i need to start looking to god for help. thats one of my biggest struggles!

BIRTHDAY....

yesterday was my birthday! it was a good quiet evening. my dad came home early, my friend jess came over and we all ate as a family! it was yummy dinner!! i had fun. aand when i got on the computer i had like 48 comments on facebook of happy birthday wishes!! i felt loved!! it was a good day!

ill put picture up later. there fun!!

=]]]

CRAZY life

So Sorry i havnt been writing lately i'v been cray bussy! job hunting, school, life in general. its been crazy. but of well so i dont have much to say...

umm lately its been a struggle to see god working in my life. somtimes i wish i had subtitle to my life so i knew when it was happening why it was happending and what hes trying to tell me. it would help life out alot! but i guess if we had subtitles then it wouldnt be a real life, you would always know what to do and you wouldnt have anything to work for. but just sometimes i wish it. or like u can turn them on and off like when you watch a movie. but who would turn them off. not me. so i guess god knows what hes doing...actuly i know he knows what hes doing. its just a struggle to see what he wants me to and what his plan is for me.

But what makes me think the most is am i messing up the plan or right where he wants me to. i mean i am human and were ment to sin so dose that mean we mess up the plan? i dont know. but thats somthing to think about.. i know i do all the time.. tell me what you think... i would like to hear it...

ps. My Birthday is on thursday and im excited!! =]]]

never noticed...

so people always said that Senior year was a crazy year for everyone.. but i never really believed any of them. and lately i have been noticing how stressful it is and how crazy your schedule is. i have been just go go go. i haven't really st oped to relax in weeks. my weekends have turned into getting stuff done and not me just hanging out and relaxing. i decided it sucks. and now i have to go find a job because I'm completely broke! and in order to have money while im going to collage and in order to maybe just maybe get away with not working i need a job now. so if your in my area and have a job for me i would be more than willing to take it! i can do basically anything im asked. just putting that out there.

ok well now that im done putting my "resume" online.... haha but yeah so thats been life. crazy senior year. and if your not a senior and dont believe me (much like i didnt believe anyone when they told me) you"ll just have to find out fr yourself.... but its crazy!!

School.. wasnt SO bad??

So normaly after school i go to jacksons room and do homework. well today i went to jacksons room and did homework.. but i missed 2 days of math and my math teacher (whoes not jackson) didnt explain it to me at all so i went to him and he spent like 2hrs explaining 2 days worth of math to me. were sitting there (me and a friend) and jackson goes "man i am hungry i want some wendys" i was like WOW that sounds SOOO good! so he was like i will give you money to go get me some wendys and in repay i will buy you and natalee(my friend) beaners!! i was like REALLY?!?!?!? and he said yes!! we were SOOO excited!! it made my day!! =]]

So today during 1st hour i told my teacher the bear joke!! it was so funny. but most of you are going to be like what is the bear joke and whys that so funny. well if you ever want to hear it just ask me. but those who do know it know why its SOOO funny!!!

That was my day. Was one of my better ones i must say!!

=]]

HIght Light!

High light of my week (even thow its only tuesday!)

One of my best friends is in chilli for 3 weeks and i got to talk to her on facebook for a while!! made my day! and my week!! i love her! and miss her!! cant wait to see her when she gets back!!

=]]