Figureing it out..?

So sense the last time i wrote i was completely confused and had no idea what in the world i was doing with my life... well im still very confused but may have figured out what i want to become in life...

Social worker.

I have been debating this for a few weeks now and think i might enjoy it. im not sure but maybe. i thought that i could work in a christen organizational one... if that makes sense. maybe working with the older kids.

I still am not sure.... but at least i have a better idea now.

OH and i when i signed on for the first time sense i last updated today i had a comment from laura and she had suggested social work too... so maybe its meant to be... ill find out in time.

Love you all
:)

What is college really for?

Going to college normally means you have a plan for your life.. a general idea of what you want your life to look like in 4 yrs, or maybe even 2 yrs.

But then you get people like me. They have to go to college and take at least 12 credits to stay on the parents insurance. but you just have no idea where your going in life. you get frustrated with people who are always asking. you go to a family event and dread the famous question "what is your major" because you always have to answer "im not sure yet"

Well my parents have been asking me a lot latley, which is their job so i cant get too up set about it. Although today i had a very good conversation with my friend amanda. i have known her for a while and she just sat and talked to me about my life. she tryed to help me get an idea, bess her heart, of what i might want to do... it was a process.

I find this hard because i dont want to screw up on it. i want everything to turn out like god has planed.. and i want to hear what he has to say, but sometimes its hard to hear him over all the other noises in my head... and trust me, there is a lot going on up there.

I do know that i want to work with helping people in some way.. i think.

Go, go, go... STOP

When your world feel like its turning faster and fast around the house everyday, and then someone says or asks you one simple thing.. it suddenly comes to a halt. Do you ever feel that way?

I find it weird how things work out like that, but thats how life has been lately. im go go go until someone says or asks me just one little things that makes me stop and think about my life. sometimes it is a good thing and sometimes it is a bad thing. but it always makes you think. And even when it is something that might make you think of your past it always slows you down and to tell you the truth that is a good thing.

I recently had this happen to me. but it was more of something i saw... kinda.

A few days ago me and my friends jess went into our fort in her house. we havnt been in there sense sophomore year. we wrote down things that have happen to us in 2008 and 2009. the things that we thought of were good and bad. but it was good for me to look bad on my life. so for that time being my life went from go, go, go to stop.

it was fun. and now it makes me think that and realize that god knows when we have to reflect back on our lives and see that even when bad things happen the good is coming and he wont let you down.

So next time you think your world wont ever stop spinning think about what has happen in the past and maybe just maybe the spinning will stop, even if only for a few mins.

: )

Cinnamon challenge

So if you didnt know already i spend a TON of time at beaners. So much time at people say i live there. Which i kind of do. So sense i spent so much time there i have gotten to know all the employees quite well. So well that i would say were all friends. So Steven, who works there, challenged me to what he likes to call The Cinnamon Challenge. This consist of you eating a whole spoon full of cinnamon without water. Steven promised me that if i could do it he would either give 10 dollars OR a free drink. It took me a while to actually do it BUT i pu the whole thing in my mouth. i failed.

Now you see cinnamon doesn't dissolve with out a liquid, so when your saliva is used all up its just dried crap in your mouth that u cant swallow. Needless to say i spit it everywhere, i made a mess, and now i smell like cinnamon because it got ALL over me. i felt like i was going to die. Not really but it was SO gross.

So what i learned is 1. dont do anything steven says to do and 2. its not posible for meto eat a whole spoon full of cinnamon. OH and its going to take a while for me to want to eat cinnamon again.

Judgeing...

Went to river view today. noel started a new series called "Like Jesus" it is all about how we need to be like jesus (hence the name) more and follow him instead of what we think.

last week it was summit like jesus and this week it was judge like jesus.

he talked about how there are two kinds of judging. there is heavy and light. heavy is your very blunt about judging someone and let them know. the other is light, and thats when you tend to keep on judging to yourself and when you do try and be blunt about it no one knows your judging because your not blunt about your judging.

so he continued on about all of it and it made me think about how much i do judge people and that i should probably not do it as much.

i dont know if this made sense at all but thats what was on my mind today.

Peace and Love :)

One word

I was watching "one tree hill" yesterday night and one of the episodes they were in class (season one btw) and the teacher asks them to "describe in one word what you want most in your life right now. so it got me thinking, whats that ONE word that describes what i want most in my life RIGHT now....

i couldn't figure it out. a lot of words came to mind, such as:
Out, trust, answers, strength, security..

while I'm thinking of these words i come up with sentences, and the biggest sentence that i cannot out into ONE word would be... I want to know what happens next. i also think to myself, i want to know where i belong in the future so i can plan out my life...

Next i think about all of these words, and sentences and i know i cant control them, as much as i want to i cant. So what do you you do, put it in gods hands. this i hard but you wont get to where your suppose to be unless you out it all in his hands.

that is what i learned from one tree hill. well i filled in between the lines.

:)

I dont have to much to say, yeah i know what your thinking.. "you haven't had anything happen to you in a month?" well actually no. nothing exciting. buttttt......

i have been finding god in a lot more in everything that i have been doing. like school and babysitting/ dog sitting. i have also been finding that listening to 88.1, smile FM, has helped a lot. just listening to music that people have written though there journeys with god and rejoicing him where ever im driving to is great. and when they have storys on about people is just so great to listen too.

so when i feel down, or am missing my friends a lot (like lately) i try to listen to christen music or read my bible and it always helps a lot!

Jesus loves you :)