how to....

i have found life becoming more and more stressful latly. just with school ending and graduation aproching i'v been finding less time for things that i like and its not a good thing.

im the worst prioritizer ever. i always want to do something but then make plans for somthing else, and to tell you the truth this isnt really working out. i dont really know how to do everything. which i dont think im suppost to do everything but im the kind of person who dosnt say no and it either hurts someone or stresses me out or both. i need to learn how to say no to things and not feel bad when i say no.

i got into a huge fight with a friend this week. there were things said that i didnt ever think i would say to him but i did. what happend was he got all made at me for not being at Club one night. and i didnt go because 1 i needed a brake from things and 2 i was helping out my grandparents. but we got into a huge fight, and at that moment i thought to my self "why me?" why is it always me that gets chewed out when im not at somthing. i dont understand it. i go to (or try to anyways) EVERYTHING!! there are very little things i dont go to, and i have my reasons for not going. but i ask you would u rather me go and not want to be there or go when i want to be there. its just stressful for me because i always want to be there but somtims for my own health or school i need to not be there. and somtimes i dont think people see why im not there.

but that story goes along with how i need to start planing things out and be more careful to not go all off on somone because im in a bad mood. i need to prioritize. i need to figure things out. i go to collage soon and i need to figure things out before i leave.

Also i need to start looking to god for help. thats one of my biggest struggles!