spring brake what a dud....

well its been a spring brake i will never forget. its been one of those SB where you want to forget about it but just wont....

if you were to read mylast post you would have found out that my great grandma died. now you might think oh she just your GG you probaly hardly knew her. well that is right and thats wrong. i dident know her too well but i knew her so well. she was (now when i told someone this they laughed at me but its true) the nucles of our family. now my family drinks lot so that maybe why they called her the nucleus and not the core but who knows. thats what she is.

this is the one spring brake i never want to relive. it was one of the hardest things i have had to do. whatch my family go through this was horible. i had to whatch my mom cry and cry and cry somemore. i had to see my two closest cusions cry and it was so hard for me. i tryed to be strong during the funeral but i eventuly just started to brake down.

i was in the mist of a brake down bymyself when a good friend texted me. he asked me how i was doing. which i was just so happy that he had remembered and asked. but we were talking and i told him that it was hard and dident know how people did it. then i asked him if he lost anyone. he did and he said (now this was what hit me the hardest. the best advice i have gotten.) you cant forget abotu it and it wont go away. it will just start to get essier and you'll start to think
of all the things that she did to make you laugh nd everything! best advice ever. or at least thats just what i needed to hear!

but on a happier note....

i got to be with my family for four days stright. i got to be with them and comfort them. i got to hang out with my uncle who lives in IN. i mean for the most part i was happy just to be around my family, knowing that they were there for you and everything!

i dident really want to deal with things and when i am upset and stressed i sleep. and when i m not sleeping i eat. and when all that dosent work i go out and fill my head with things to do. like hang out with jessie.

whelp thats basicly it. just pray for my family. were all still taking it hard and will be for a while.