stressed out

making decisions has never been my thing. and now i am faced with one of the biggest decisions i have ever had to make. i have to decide between going to work crew or going to my old wyld life leader Katie's wedding. its hard and i an getting stressed out about it! i just dont know what to do......

What Plan?

so i was wondering, if god has aplan for us all and its supposted to be a great one, then why dosent it feel like it?? i just dont understand. i mean everything in my life god has known was going to happen. But somtimes i wonder if thats the way it was supposted to go. let me give you an example from my life.....

My Best friend janae moved the summer after freshman year. now at times i think oh what a great plan because i got to get to know jess better. but other times i think couldent somthing else happen to get me and jess to become closer? i just think well is this how its supposted to be? did god have somthing else planned out but satin got involved...

its just one of those things where i sit and think of when i am missing my best friend. i tend to refer to her as my rock. even over a 1000 miles away she is always there for me. she always knows when somthings wrong. i dont know, its just somthing that i think about.

i guess what you could say i am saying is i miss my friend and alway hate saying good-bye. its harder than it would seem to be. days after i still miss her. its almost eassyer for me to not see her, but then i get sad that i dont see her. so its just a hard thing for me to deal with.

Indiana :D

last weekend i got to spend about a day with the best person in the world! Janae!! she is my best friend who moved to CO end of freshmen year. now i dont really know how to explain it but i will put photos up so you know what i mean....


haha- cant even explain this


Vickie, Ken, and JANAE!!


the hole crew

that was my weekend. hope you enjoy the pictures!!

spring brake what a dud....

well its been a spring brake i will never forget. its been one of those SB where you want to forget about it but just wont....

if you were to read mylast post you would have found out that my great grandma died. now you might think oh she just your GG you probaly hardly knew her. well that is right and thats wrong. i dident know her too well but i knew her so well. she was (now when i told someone this they laughed at me but its true) the nucles of our family. now my family drinks lot so that maybe why they called her the nucleus and not the core but who knows. thats what she is.

this is the one spring brake i never want to relive. it was one of the hardest things i have had to do. whatch my family go through this was horible. i had to whatch my mom cry and cry and cry somemore. i had to see my two closest cusions cry and it was so hard for me. i tryed to be strong during the funeral but i eventuly just started to brake down.

i was in the mist of a brake down bymyself when a good friend texted me. he asked me how i was doing. which i was just so happy that he had remembered and asked. but we were talking and i told him that it was hard and dident know how people did it. then i asked him if he lost anyone. he did and he said (now this was what hit me the hardest. the best advice i have gotten.) you cant forget abotu it and it wont go away. it will just start to get essier and you'll start to think
of all the things that she did to make you laugh nd everything! best advice ever. or at least thats just what i needed to hear!

but on a happier note....

i got to be with my family for four days stright. i got to be with them and comfort them. i got to hang out with my uncle who lives in IN. i mean for the most part i was happy just to be around my family, knowing that they were there for you and everything!

i dident really want to deal with things and when i am upset and stressed i sleep. and when i m not sleeping i eat. and when all that dosent work i go out and fill my head with things to do. like hang out with jessie.

whelp thats basicly it. just pray for my family. were all still taking it hard and will be for a while.

Bad time...

So this is going to be a short post....

Wednesday my Great Grandma (aka-GG) had a stroke and went to the hospital. she was at least 95 years old. umm Friday morning very very early she past away. she had a great life!

i would like you to pray for my family. especially my mom. she is taking it hard. so if you could just pray for my family that would be amazing....

i am braking

let me first start off with saying that i think my testimony went prity good. but heres what happend....

i get SO nerves about these kind of things. So i tried the hole put it in the back of your mind thing to see what would happen. well normaly this dosent work because i dont have anything else to keep my mind ocupied, but sence i am playing polo i have been really bussey. so eventualy it got pushed so far back that by 4th hour on monday i remebered that i had to give my testimony and dident know what to say. i was basicly freeking out. so i tryed to do it at school but thats not the best place to do it because you are su[osted to be learning other things. so i gave up. (not good) i got to dinner and the other guy who was doing his forgot too. so we were both like whoops what do we do now? so i volenteered his to go first so i could gather stuff from his to say. that dident work out much. so ibabled alittle about mylife and i think over all it went fine but i dont think so. so if you want to know the truth ask a wyld life leader who heard it and they will tell you....

But to get back on track let me tell ya. i am getting old. or somthing!! actualy not old i am just braking! it all started at the beging of march, at the polo turni, when i poped a rib out of place. i was out of the pool a hole week then got in. not good to be out for a week then play in a game. so you know i am fine for a few days but then i get hit with this HORABLE cold. i am coughing up a storm shivering like no other and have a fever. wen to pratice that day. came home dident go to school the next day. so i am like this for like a week. i go to pratice and one day dont pratice because i feel like crap. the next day dont go to school whitch means no pratice too. so again out of the pool even more days. i finaly start to get over my cold i still have a horable cough but i am doing good. yesterday morning i wake up and my eye kinda hurts and iches. i dont think anything of it and went to school. somebody told me that my eye looked pink and i was like what ever and went to my next class. (no one else saw my pink eye) so i had a game and my friends came to my game (the ones who saw my eye at school) and said my eye was really red but the other wasent. so i went to talk to my team mates and they all were like you need to get that checked out. so i went to my mommy and she said we were going to the docs.

So here i am at home while school is in sesion because if it is pink eye then i cant go to school and spred it! i am board out of my mind and trying to figure out why i keep braking. because if it is pink eye i cant swim again. dont get me wrong i love not going to pratice but my team gets made at me and i dont like that! so thats mym story of how i am braking. one thing after another.....

proverbs 3:6
"Seek his will in all you do and he will show you which path to take."

My leader Dilyn had this in her away mesage and i liked it. it makes me relize that i dont have to alway find my way on my own but god is always there guiding me! : )